It Came Upon a Midnight Clear
by staceleo
Summary: Love comes to Miss Swan unexpectedly during the holidays. This is for Suebee to make her smile.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: Sometimes you need to write some Christmas. Sometimes you also need to write something fun for your friend, Suebee. This is to make her smile. Hopefully, all of you will too! **

Chapter 1

There's the North Star shining so bright in the dark. It's makes me think of magic. I used to wish on it when I was young. Usually for dolls wearing giant pink bows made or satin or a new baseball bat. I was a well-rounded kid.

He snores a little while he's sleeping. His name might be Edwin. It was an old-fashioned name that made me think of England and _Downton Abbey_.

I should leave. Spirit away out of this hotel room that is festively decorated with Christmas lights before the naked man behind me wakes up.

The snoring is somewhat adorable.

That's the problem with office wide holiday parties, you see. They don't let your glass become empty of egg nog or sparkling wine and it all goes to your head. You find yourself giggling with the sexy new guy from headquarters and a few hours later doing nude gymnastics in a swanky hotel bed. The alcohol was only a part of the problem. The combination of green eyes and auburn hair does this lady in every time. Gingers are my kryptonite.

I think we had a stimulating conversation. I hope we did. My brain is fuzzy and so is my mouth. I need a toothbrush.

Sex is what I can clearly remember. The way that Egon slid off my dress and bit my inner thigh. No, that isn't right.

I would never have sex with an Egon.

Mr. Headquarters was an ass man. He liked spankings. Both receiving and giving in the true spirit of Christmas.

I really should go. My glass slippers are now a pair of worn black flats and my jeweled carriage is only my used Ford Explorer that is now covered in snow on the lot near the office. It was most definitely going to be a cold and blustery walk back there.

His arm wrapped around my waist and pulled me flush against his body. The man was a human furnace that heated up my whole body.

"Where are you running off to?" Edgar whispered into the shell of my ear.

Edgar was worse than Egon. I was never going to remember his name.

"I should be getting home," I whispered back. I twisted in his arms to face his sleepy smile. "I don't usually do things like this."

Truth was, I never did things like this. I'm a relationship type of gal. One night stands were awkward. This one is now heading in that direction.

His one hand went in between my legs. The other into the strands of my long hair that I was certain were now twisted up into a sight resembling a bird's nest. I was pulled closer to his mouth. E . . . Umm . . . Something licked my lips and said, "Stay."

It wasn't a question, but a demand. He kissed me hard and his fingers pressed into me with a light touch. I clung to his back as moved those fingers at quickening speed. He began sucking on my clavicle.

"I really should—" I was planning to say more to excuse myself, but instead I squeezed his ass. He whimpered. It made me feel powerful.

"Should be doing more of that," he finished for me. I was pushed up on top of him, as he gripped my hips. "I want more, Miss Swan."

He knew my last name at least. It became pretty sexy when he sat up, with his hair all wild on his head, and pushed into me. Our chests pressed together, he rubbed his head against mine. "Ride me, Miss Swan."

I was happily to oblige as I moved my body causing friction between us. His mouth was kissing any available skin he could reach. My nails raked down his arms and caused him to hiss. This should have been embarrassing for so many reasons, but instead I found this co-worker invigorating.

"Oh God, Miss Swan!" The man, that might be Eric, cried out as I bit his earlobe. He used his fingers to make my body shake and tighten around him.

The man made me see stars and that wasn't something that didn't happen often. I think I did the same for him, as he pulled me down to lay on his chest looking completely joyful. He kissed me and stated, "That was amazing."

He was correct. It really was.

It was probably a good time to leave, but he was so warm and I was so tired that I couldn't keep my eyes open.

As I closed my eyes, I heard him say, "Beautiful."

I couldn't help, but smile a little.

XXXXXX

I woke up twisted in a mound of blankets feeling quite chilly. I was still in the hotel bed room, but the handsome man that made me feel amazing was gone. I stumbled up and on wobbly legs with the sheet wrapped around my body went to check the bathroom.

Empty.

There was a breakfast of assorted pastries and coffee on a small table. A note laid on the top of a pile of cash.

I picked it up and read aloud to the empty room. "Let's do this again sometime. I'm on the top floor in Office 3. Edward."

Edward was the new VP. I had sex all night long with my boss.

The note dropped back onto the table as I grabbed the money. There was over five hundred dollars in my hands.

I was an accountant not a prostitute!

Mr Edward, new Vice President would be getting quite a special Christmas present on Monday morning.

This money shoved up his ass.


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: It's a terribly busy season with two kids who are trying to be good for Santa in the house. (They aren't doing their very best, but I'll let it slide.) **

**You know somebody who has been very good? Suebee. She deserves so much happiness. Also, Alice's White Rabbit is going to get a nice Emmett in this story. Look at me with all the holiday spirit. **

**I'll try to post everyday until Christmas. We'll see. I have lots of cookies to make. **

Chapter 2

"Bella, what in the world were you thinking?" Emmett sat at in the chair on the other side of my desk. He pushed his wire-framed glasses up on his tiny nose. For such a large man, he had such delicate features and the dimples of a child. It was no surprise he was once again tapped for playing Santa at the annual holiday children's benefit. This year's theme was, Holly, Jolly Giving Fiesta.

That stupidity was all Alice.

Spreadsheets were covering the surface of my desk. I was typing on figures on Excel and Emmett was using his old fashioned calculator that he called, Lucky. It was the type that needed light to operate. I was sure he got it free from his bank.

"I was thinking with large amounts of alcohol coursing through my blood stream, Em. You can't judge after putting that basket of fruit on your head and dancing the flamenco," I pointed out.

He wore his Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer sweater and danced like a fool next to the copier. The nose on that ugly sweater actually blinked. Whomever said that accountants couldn't have fun was sorely mistaken.

He chuckled and took off his glasses to rub his eyes. "It got me some alone time with Miss Hale in the storage closet. That made my embarrassment worth it."

"The Ice Queen?" I leaned over and put my hand on his forehead. "Thank goodness! You still feel warm and haven't become a frozen statue that resembles my friend!"

Rosalie Hale, of flaxen hair and glacier good looks, barely smiled. She ran the Sales Department with an iron fist. She was so mean, it was any wonder that we hadn't lost any clients yet. It must be the short skirts and cleavage.

That actually sounds horrible for me to say about another woman who, like me, had to work hard to climb the social ladder. Of course, she really is grouchy to an Oscar the Grouch level. There has to be some reason for her success. Attire is the only thing I can come up with so far.

Emmett gave me a glare. "She isn't that bad. May I point out, good buddy, that you ended up doing sexual gymnastics with the new VP? You can't say anything."

"How was I to know that Edward was a vice president? I heard there was a new hire from headquarters and—"

"Bella, have you ever read the memos that Human Resources sends out? There were two guys sent from headquarters! Jasper Whitlock the new IT nerd and Mr. Personality VP," Emmett explained. "You've seen Whitlock, right? Pocket protector and blond curly hair over his eyes? I think he sniffs the printer ink."

"He would fit in perfectly with this department," I added, as I started twisting one of my pens in my hand. We both laughed. The Finance and IT groups socialized frequently. We got each other's jokes. "Maybe I should have noticed that there were two new employees, but it's a crazy time of year. I picked up some new tax clients this year and I need to finish up their returns."

"You should have noticed that the name is Edward Cullen. Mr. Carlisle Cullen's nephew, Bella!" Emmett shook his head at me. Carlisle was the president of the company. He was barely seen, because he flitted between offices on whatever whim came to him. "You work too much."

"She does!" Alice, my assistant, danced into the room with an armful of folders. The woman looked like a gypsy in her multi-colored dress. Her spiky, dark hair had glittery barrettes pinned to random strands. There was no rhyme or reason to this odd duck, but she did good work. There was only one glaring issue. "I heard you two talking about Mr. Whitlock. I'm going to ask him to my benefit."

"Alice, what did I tell you about listening in to my conversations using the intercom?" I asked with a glare.

"Not to do it. I forgot." Alice plopped down in the chair next to Emmett's. "I was thinking about the money that Mr. Cullen gave you. You should keep it to give people better Christmas presents this year. That cheese basket last year was crap."

"Nice, Alice. This year you'll be getting coal. I had a coupons and used them quite expertly to get good gifts." I pointed my pen at her. "What do I always tell you?"

"Save and save some more," she grumbled.

That was correct. Saving was important. I had quite the impressive retirement plan and 401K that would help me in my elderly years. I could afford a BMW, but why should I? My Explorer was over ten years old, but still ran relatively well. It could use new tires, but I was waiting for an after Christmas sale first.

"You gave me a calendar with kittens dressed up for each month last Christmas," Emmett stated glumly. I didn't know what his problem was. He had two cats. Then he added, "What about this money you girls are talking about?"

Alice gave a sad smile. "Mr. Cullen thinks Bella is a prostitute and left her money after their tryst. It kind of makes sense. He probably heard about the younger Mr. Volturi bringing an escort to last year's events. Mr. Cullen probably thinks we have women of the night wandering the halls for rendezvous throughout the holidays. It's all quite scandalous!"

It was a moment of weakness that I poured out my soul to Alice this morning over coffee. I should have known better. That woman couldn't keep her damn mouth shut.

"Want me to punch him, Bella? I can get a job anywhere. I have a Master's from Babson!" Emmett stood and flexed his muscles. They were quite impressive, even clad in a striped button down. "I shall defend your honor!"

Alice yawned and pointed to the spreadsheets. "Before you pummel the handsome rusty-haired bossman, could you drop those off at Marcus's office?"

"I'll do it. This is my fight. I'm going to shove this money so far up his ass that he'll be having to visit the ER to remove all these bills. Don't worry about me. I'm a strong woman. I can handle, Ed . . . Mr. Cullen." I grabbed the folders. "I'll give these to Marcus first."

I heard behind me, as I walked out the door, Alice say, "I bet you a fifty that she has sex with him again."

"Damn it, girl! I hate to lose," Emmett answered.

They would both be losing this bet.

XXXXXX

"Hey Jessica, is Mr. Cullen in his office?" I had those bills crumpled in the pocket of my cardigan. I could feel the money mocking me through the wool.

Her frizzy hair was like a halo around her head, as she looked up from her computer. She looked exhausted and was hyperventilating. "What did you say? This rescheduling I have to do is just a mess! Doesn't he care that Carlisle has the end of year mapped out? Doesn't he _care_?"

The poor woman ducked down and came back up with an inhaler. She took a puff and seemed to calm slightly.

"Jess—"

"Honestly, I don't care if he's Carlisle's nephew. It's the end of year! He needs to fit in Christmas around the work schedule! I'll never be able to fit all this in before January or talk Aro into taking some of these meetings. This is lunacy!" She started banging her head on her desk.

I placed my hand on her frizz to still her banging. Jessica was going to give herself a concussion. "Is he in right now?"

"Mr. Cullen doesn't want to be disturbed," she scoffed.

"Jerking off?"

I got a bit of a smile out of her. "I have no time to laugh right now, Bella Swan. He's probably filling out Christmas cards or sucking on a candy cane."

"Calm down. I'll talk to him." I gave her hand a squeeze. My idea was to punch him the gut, but maybe I would talk to him first.

I entered his office that was all chrome and steel. Mr. Edward Cullen was spinning in his chair like a kid. Closing the door behind me, I asked, "What the hell are you doing?"

Edward stopped abruptly with a smile. "I knew you'd come. Would you like to come in another way while you're here?"

"I'm trying not to punch you right now." I pointed at his door. "You're driving your assistant insane."

"She was already there. That woman is about one foot in the loony bin as it is." Edward disagreed. He had a point. Jessica was highly strung and prone to panic attacks. "You missed me."

I threw the money on his desk. "I'm not a whore, Mr. Cullen."

"Of course, you're not. You're Bella Swan, CPA. The most lovely accountant in the land,I must say." He gave me a wink and a smirk. I wanted to kiss his smirk away. What the hell was wrong with me? I needed to keep my head in the game.

"Why did you leave me a monetary parting gift?"

He stood up and came over to me. That grin never left those frustratingly perfect lips. It was as if he was stalking his prey. To keep it in a winter theme, I was the reindeer being stalked by the big, bad wolf. His hands went to my face. "It was for the hotel room. You paid with your credit card. I tried to pay, but you're a stubborn, little lady."

"That much for a hotel room? Are you absolutely mad? You must be insane!" I complained.

That was the picture of insanity. I must have been completely drunk to pay for that. There were far more economical places to be intimate in. There was a certain amount I had budgeted for frivolities and that wasn't one of them.

Maybe I should take the money? I could place it in a new savings account. I would not give him that satisfaction. "I do _not_ need you to pay for that room. It was a waste, but a waste I can easily afford."

This was the truth. I just hated that I was going to end up paying for it.

"Are you certain, Miss Swan? I've seen your car. That piece of junk tells me that you need to be saving for a new vehicle." His smile was obnoxious.

I moved even closer and hissed in face, "How dare you?"

"God, you're so fucking hot when you're mad, Miss Swan." He kissed me and I plunged my tongue in his mouth.

I should have kneed him in the balls but instead, like a wanton hussy, ripped open his shirt and licked around his nipple. Edward grabbed me by the thighs and pushed me against the wall.

"Is this considered sexual harassment?" Edward asked. He had my skirt around my waist and his hands were pushing down my pantyhose and underwear.

I was unbuckling his belt and looked up with a shrug. "Then I'm sexually harassing you at the same time. We can call it a draw."

"Good, Miss Swan, I like your thinking." He placed me on the floor to pull off my cardigan and drop it to the floor. My shirt followed and he just stared at my breasts. "These are magnificent."

Men.

To aid his now inability to move, I removed my bra. This made him worse. He stood and ogled. I pushed his pants down and grasped his dick. I tugged it slowly and moved it against my center. "Mr. Cullen, I suggest that you suck those magnificent breasts and fuck me hard. I might forgive you for being disrespectful of my vehicle."

"Miss Swan, you are an angel." Those lips wrapped round my nipple and he lifted me onto cock. He pounded me against the wall.

"Oh, Mr. Cullen! Oh, Mr. Cullen!" I screamed, over and over again.

"Miss Swan!" He bit my shoulder. Really hard. So I bit him right back, which made us both collapse to the floor.

My mind was momentarily fuzzy, but I managed to stand on wobbly legs with as much dignity as I could muster. "I need to be getting back to work."

"Use my private bathroom to clean up," he instructed, as he stood up. Edward helped me hook my bra. His fingers stroked the skin around the straps.

"Spoiled Executive," I tried to sound disapproving, but I could feel a smile forming in the corners of my mouth.

He stilled my movements. His hands pulling down my skirt. "What is mine is also yours, Miss Swan. Can I help you clean up?"

"What is your game, Mr. Cullen?" I wondered aloud, looking into his sparkling eyes.

"Next time, you'll be screaming out Edward not Mr. Cullen." He kissed the tops of my breasts. "You'll be my Bella."

I pushed away slowly. "Who says there is going to be a next time?"

"I do," he answered. Edward kissed up and down my neck. "I'll pick you up tonight to pick out a tree."

"This is absolutely nutty and you're a bossy man, Mr. Cullen." I let him pull me tight against his chest.

"I get what I want, Bella Swan," Edward explained. His hands grasped my ass and squeezed it hard.

I squeezed his waist, "What do you want, Edward?"

"You."


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: This is holiday silliness for Suebee. This time of year should be fun and this is my attempt. **

**This story is going to be finished by Christmas hopefully. **

**Have a lovely day! I'm going Christmas shopping. **

Chapter 3

"Christmas tree shopping, Bella? I think he might be a serial killer. Sure he makes you shake and quake like a volcano erupting, but he might have a very special jar for your head," Emmett's voice loudly admonished in my ear. I should hang up the phone. I feel bad enough about my Edward weakness.

"It's not like he's my stalker," I complained as I wandered around my apartment with a wine glass. "Just a sexual release."

"Sure," Emmett agreed sounding like he didn't believe me at all. "Rosalie called me. Asked me to have coffee with her."

"Is it iced coffee?"

"Bella—"

"I mean really, Emmett, let's be practical. Coffee might melt her. You need to be careful, because you'll end up dating a puddle." I went to the fridge and grabbed the pinot grigio. "You

can't make sweet love with that."

His laugh filled the receiver. "I guess we'll see about that. When is Don Juan, the maybe psychopath coming to pick you up?"

"I never gave him my address. I just rushed out of there and tried to ignore Jessica's dirty looks." Jessica looked extremely unhappy when I exited. Somehow she knew. It was probably, because she heard us. We were very loud.

"You do know that Mr. Cullen could just get your address from Human Resources?" There was a knock at the door. "Bella?"

"I've got to go," I muttered.

There was more laughter. "I bet it's him, girl! Bring your mace or a pocket knife."

"Good-bye, Emmett," I clicked off the phone before he could tease me some more.

I opened the door to find Edward leaning against the door frame. There was a bouquet of red roses in his hands and a cocky smile on his face. "Beautiful flowers for a beautiful lady."

"You are so full of shit, but thank you." I took the flowers from him and led him inside. "I'll put these into some water and I'll help you pick out a stupid tree."

I headed to the kitchen, but he pulled me back into his body.

Edward said into my neck. "Where's your decorations?"

"I have a tree," I motioned to my small tree in the corner

"That's not a real tree." He turned me around and pulled me tighter against him. "I'm a firm believer of no artificial trees."

"It's just more financially feasible to buy an artificial and use it. Real trees are a waste of resources and money. I paid for this once and I can continue to use it for decades. I did splurge for the lifetime guarantee, because I had a coupon and it was half-price at the after Christmas sale," I explained.

My small little tree was quite nice. Sure the fake needles were blue, not green. It was cheaper. Also I used less lights than I could have, but that saved on electricity. The ornaments were ones I made out of construction paper and markers. These weren't my childhood ornaments, but the ones I created a couple years while I watched _It's a Wonderful Life_. I was a tad tipsy and sentimental that night. Dad wouldn't give me my old childhood ornaments that I made in my youth. He needed them for his own artificial tree that he had since I was a child. It was pink. He got it on sale. My thriftiness was genetic.

"That is just sad, Bella!" Edward exclaimed looking distraught. I escaped from his arms to retrieve a vase and watched him explore my apartment. There wasn't much to see. "This place is devoid of any spark. I'm not even mentioning the lack of holiday decorations."

I looked at him as I filled the vase with water. "I love Christmas, but not like a lunatic. That seems to be your thing. There is no reason to go crazy one month of the year."

"Uncle was correct. You do need me." Edward shook his sadly. "What have you done all your life without me?"

Uncle? Carlisle knew about me? Last time I saw him, he thought my name was Susan. Carlisle Cullen was a mystery in the office. Occasionally, he would grace us with his classically good looks and smile benignly. He was like Cary Grant. I imagined him kicked back with a whiskey on the rocks in front of a roaring fire. His doting wife would be rubbing his feet. I've seen Edward's aunt. She wore pearls and heels every time I saw her. I imagined she was the perfect housewife. I couldn't imagine her wearing those heels in this wintery weather. They would be deadly.

"Your uncle knows about me? Are you certain he doesn't want me to be a good influence and tap down your weird." Then it occurred to me. "You were targeting me the whole time at the Christmas party?"

"Targeting sounds creepy, Bella. I was admiring your virtues from afar. Luckily, I got to admire them up close and personal." Edward grabbed my scarf from the coat rack and wrapped it around my neck. "We're both weird, Miss Swan. We might as well be weird together."

He kissed my nose and smiled. Damn him for being adorable.

I sighed and said, "There's a tree lot on Smith Street."

"Actually, I had something better in mind." He grabbed my coat and tossed it to me. "Your chariot awaits, my sweet."

XXXXXX

"This is a Christmas tree farm!" I exclaimed as I watched families stroll with their saws to examine the trees.

A little boy with red hair and freckles sniffed some pine needles and exclaimed, "Mommy, this one smells like Christmas!"

That was what I was missing. Not the kid. He had snot running down his nose. It was the smells of Christmas that I didn't know I had missed. I couldn't help smiling in the cold.

Edward had an arm wrapped around my waist. "You like that right."

"Yeah," I admitted looking at the large blue spruce.

"We'll have a pack of them. I promise." He held me tighter.

"Trees?" We're we going to open a Christmas tree farm?

"Kids. Red and brown haired moppets running around us. It will be fun!" Edward sounded so happy.

Oh God.

He looked down at me and laughed. "Not right now, pretty lady. Calm yourself down."

"You're frightening, Mr. Cullen."

He kissed me. I melted into him.

We pulled away reluctantly, when a burly looking man in a snowman sweater barked, "Get a room!"

It was tempting, but Edward pulled away and grabbed my hand. "Let us travel away from the horde of families to find the perfect tree."

"You want to find a secluded place to make-out," I countered.

"Yes." Edward grabbed a saw and started pulling me down the path.

There were trees in front of us as far as the eye could see. Small ones and large ones were standing side by side. Some of the trees were full bodied, while others were thin. It would be impossible to find the perfect tree for Edward.

"What room are you going to put it in?" I inquired, as I ran my fingers over the needles of a beautiful tree that to my eye seemed to be perfect. It looked like a Christmas movie tree.

"We'll be replacing that crap piece of plastic you have in your living room." He looked at the perfect tree. "Eureka! This is it!"

"Edward, this is supposed to be your tree." I spoke very slowly. He seemed to be excitable, so a calming voice was necessary.

"Our tree. I'm living in Uncle's house until I find a place. I much rather spend the holidays with you," He leaned me against a light post that was illuminating my . . . I mean . . . The tree.

Edward ran his hands down my sides and I was speechless. He just stared at me, until I finally squeaked, "You barely know me. We just met and you're planning kids and the holidays with me!"

"Yep," He agreed. Edward cupped my chin with his gloves. "I want you. I feel it deep in my soul. Call it fate or destiny, I don't care which. All I know is that we're meant to be, Bella."

He kissed me and it was making me believe. He pulled away and gave one more kiss to my cheek. Edward quietly remarked, "You're cold."

A light snow started to fall around us. It made our surroundings look like a winter wonderland.

"You're warming me up, Edward."

He wrapped me in a hug and stated into the sky. "Perfect."


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: I big thank you to the Ficsister's for recommending this story on their blog! **

**As always, I hope Suebee is having a fantastic day. Thank you all for reading this silliness. **

**This weekend chapters will be shorter. This weekend is going to be crazy with Nutcracker performances and Breakfast with Santa. **

Chapter 4

I held a cup of coffee and reclined on my couch to watch Edward decorate the tree. He stuck my poor blue tree in a corner of my bedroom, because I wouldn't let him throw it away. That's just a wasteful thing to do. Silly man.

Taking a sip, I pondered this power that Edward held over me. We just met and I knew almost nothing about him, except he had a Christmas obsession that rivaled that of the most Santa fixated child. There was also a sexy bossiness that he possessed that normally would make me want to punch anyone else who acted like he did. Edward just made me want to have sex with him.

Edward stopped stringing lights. "Are you going to help me?"

"Just enjoying the view as I warm myself with this lovely java," I explained as I held tighter to my mug. My hands were freezing. I gave him a wink and a whistle.

"Woman, I'm more than a sexy show," he stated good-naturedly. "I can't believe you aren't having hot chocolate! It is the nectar of the gods."

He had a hot chocolate mustache on his lips. It was so cute that I didn't want to tell him to lick it off. Though I think I would ravage him if he did. The man had an impressive tongue. It was what dirty dreams were made of.

Poor Edward. He was so excited about having hot chocolate after getting the Christmas tree that I had him stop at the local coffee shop to get himself one. Not surprisingly, he asked for extra marshmallows. My home was a chocolate free zone. It wasn't due to the rising cost of chocolate, I just didn't like. Never have. Probably lingering memories of my mother giving me a piece when I was a tiny child and the stomach flu that immediately followed. Things like that can ruin a girl for life.

"It smells yucky and does not have the wondrous powers of coffee, Edward. Back off and hang up your lights. I want a better view of your behind."

The string of lights were dropped and Edward stalked over to me with his cup of chocolate. He straddled my legs with a devious look.

"Don't you dare make me drink that, Mr. Cullen. I will cut off your holiday fun so fast that you're handsome head will spin." I tapped his nose, instead of pushing him off.

"How about we lick it off of each other?" He was a kinky bastard.

I pulled him closer by his neck. "If this some winter fantasy of yours, Mr. Cullen?"

His eyes narrowed and with a husky voice, he answered, "Yes, it is. I'm planning on eating marshmallows off your nipples."

Oh God.

"Where did you get more marshmallows? Shouldn't they all be melted in your stinky beverage?" I squeaked. He was unbuttoning my shirt. I was putty in his hands.

"I talked the barista to slip me some more. I can be very persuasive." He held up a plastic sandwich bag holding the marshmallows. He looked down at the bra I wore. "A front clasp! How did you know I was hoping for this?"

"Just lucky I guess," I said distractedly, as he opened my bra. I watched as he placed two marshmallows on my breasts. "If my couch get stained—"

Edward began painting chocolate candy canes on my belly. "I'll fucking buy you a new one, sweetheart."

Before I could complain, he went and sucked a marshmallow off my boob. He proceeded to keep sucking it. I gasped, "Oh!"

His hands tugged down my pants, as he continued to lick and suck my skin. "Edward?"

"Yes, Miss Swan?" He looked up from where his tongue was swirling around my belly button.

"Come here for a sec," I demanded.

He moved up to my face and I licked his chocolate mustache without gagging. I still didn't like the taste of chocolate, but the taste of Edward was delicious.

"You had a little something on your mouth," I declared.

He sat up a little straighter and pulled off his sweater. He stood up to remove the rest of his clothing to reveal the most glorious sight. "You are going to be the death of me, Bella."

"A good death?"

"The best," he assured me, before heading down my body.

Edward poured the chocolate between my legs. Panic was filling my body at the thought of the stains, but I was quickly distracted my his mouth licking and sucking it off. His tongue plunging into me. I grabbed his hair and pulled on it so hard that I was surprised I didn't pull it out. "Edward!"

"You like that?" His muffled voice asked.

"Yes!" I screamed it so loudly that the drink glasses shook on the shelf.

Edward looked up and smiled brightly. "I'm going to make love to you now."

Love? I should feel frightened by that word, but instead it felt invigorating.

"Please," I whispered.

Edward entered me slowly. His movements were deliberate and gentle. Our eyes locked as we moved together. This wasn't just meaningless sex, but so much more. These feelings I had for him were romantic. I loved to be with him. Not just in moments like this, but just giggling with him at the coffee shop over Alvin and the Chipmunks singing Christmas songs.

"Bella—"

I held him tighter. "Yes?"

"You're my Christmas miracle, you know that?" He came into me with an expression of love on his face.

I think I loved this guy too. It was so quick though. My head was spinning happily.

Edward relaxed his head on my chest. His fingers played with my hair. "I guess I'm getting you a couch for Christmas."

"Yes. I think you are," I agreed. I stroked his head. "Can I ask you a question? It isn't bad or anything."

"Sure." He hugged me tightly.

"Why do you love Christmas so much? I mean you really love it in a way that borders on disturbing."

Edward chuckled into my chest. "I know. It's just that I'm making up for my childhood, I guess. My dad isn't like Uncle Carlisle. He is a very strict and proper man. Mother made sure the decorations were perfect and untouchable. There wasn't any fun music that I can remember, just lots of harp music. I opened Christmas presents with my nanny and those gifts were always things that I needed. Mittens and sweaters mostly with an occasional classical book. There isn't much a four year-old can do with a first edition of _Moby Dick_."

We didn't have much when I was growing up, but even after Mom left and moved out with her new husband, I still knew I was loved. The ornaments might have been handmade and the gifts bought on sale, but they were meant as an expression of the love our family felt for each other. Edward sadness was now mine as well. I felt sadness for the little boy trying to make Christmas joy on his own.

"I'm so sorry, Edward." I kissed the top of his lovely, rusty colored hair.

He looked up with a small smile. "Uncle Carlisle and Aunt Esme taught me how to really enjoy the holidays. I think I just go too far. Sorry."

"I love your crazy, Edward Cullen," I said.

Edward moved up and pulled me into his lap and I covered us up in a blanket that I had on the back of the couch. We snuggled and I felt warm, inside and out.

"Do you think someday you can love more than just my crazy?" Edward asked stroking my arm.

"Yes." It was a simple answer, but entirely true.

"We need a fireplace in our next place," Edward stated.I think he was talking mostly to himself.

I twisted around to give him a kiss his cheek.

"Miss Swan?"

"Yes, Mr. Cullen?"

"I need more of those kisses."

"As you wish."


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: First, I hope Sueebee has the best weekend ever. Did you know she's a talented writer? She is! Read all her stuff!**

**Dear Lisa Marie, this is a pure, fluffy Christmas story for Suebee, Feel free to stop reading if you like different stuff. Yeah, I got mad at first, but I understand. **

**To the rest of you, I hope you have a fun filled holiday weekend. I will be.**

**Finally, fun fact is that I don't like chocolate. My husband and kids think that I'm weird. They're keeping me anyway. **

Chapter 5

The mall was crowded. Harried mothers pushing screaming children in strollers. Husbands and boyfriends fretting over lingerie at Victoria's Secret. Cranky shoppers pushing and muttering profanities with instrumental holiday music being piped over the mall sound system. There was lights and tinsel everywhere. Christmas vomited all over this mecca of commercialism.

I told Emmett this much as we shuffled past our irritable fellow shoppers. He looked confused. "What the hell? Bella, I need cheap mall food and you're talking about meccas. You aren't making a lick of sense."

Alice gently smacked him on the back of the head. "Eye on the prize, Em. Bella needs to find Mr. Cullen a gift! I think we need to get handcuffs from Hot Topics!"

"Alice!"

"Fine. I'll get handcuffs for Jasper Whitlock. At some point, he'll have to succumb to my wiles. I just need to be patient." She motioned toward a stuffy store that catered to professional men. "You can get Mr. Cullen a sweater."

"He needs something special!" I exclaimed. "There's nothing special here!"

"He likes Christmas, so get him a dancing Santa," Emmett suggested unhelpfully. "Or you could get him some duct tape and rope. I'm not completely sold on him not being a serial killer."

I stopped at a kiosk to look at some massagers. "Shut up, Emmett. How did the date with Miss Hale go?"

"I think I thawed her out a bit." He turned on a massager and placed it on his hand. "Kinky."

I couldn't help but snort.

Alice let out a squeak and grabbed my arm. "Mr. Cullen is here with a woman. An actual beautiful one!"

"Hey! What am I? Chopped liver?" I was a bit offended. I looked over to where Alice was staring. My handsome Edward was speaking to a lovely woman with waves of strawberry tresses. They were just chatting. There was no flirty touches or seductive glances. I wasn't concerned in the least.

"What are we going to do?" Alice asked in her high pitched voice. She was in a panic.

My answer was simple. "Go over and say hello."

"We can't do that!" Alice squeaked.

Emmett added, "Ali wants us to play secret spy. Catch them in the act."

"That's stupid. I'm heading over there." I grabbed one of the free candy canes out of my pocket that I grabbed from the counter of a store that sold only calendars. I took off the plastic wrapper and waved it at my friends. "Watch and learn, children."

The candy can was placed in my mouth and I headed over with a smile. As I reached Edward, I tapped him on the shoulder. He turned around slowly and his surprised face turned into grin. I gave him a wink. "How you doin', cute stuff?"

Edward pulled me against his body. "You teasing me with that cane?"

"Excuse me, Edward Cullen? This old thing?" I pulled it out and held it up to him. "You want some?"

"I'd rather have you wrap something else around those lips," he stated with a leer. His leers were delightful. "You forgot something."

"What?"

"My hello kiss." Edward kissed me. It wasn't a friendly peck either.

"I'm going to have some unwanted fantasies about those two, " I heard Emmett say.

"Me too!" Alice agreed enthusiastically.

Edward pulled away, "Bella, this was such luck to see you here. I was going to ask you to come here with me, but you said you hated malls."

"I do, but Alice and Emmett were helping me find something for someone special," I admitted and tapped his chest.

"The only thing I want is you," Edward told me. He kissed my nose. "I ran into Tanya looking for a gift for her girlfriend and was picking her brain to get gift ideas"

I moved away from Edward and held out my hand to the beautiful woman. "Bella Swan."

The woman pulled me into a hug. "Edward was gushing about you. He was absolutely right about your loveliness! I'm Tanya Denail."

"How do you know, Edward? I asked. I wanted to know everything about Edward. Tanya seemed to be the sharing type.

"Good friends from college. I helped this goof ball pass organic chemistry. He set me up with my girlfriend, Irina. This guy is a regular cupid." She gave Edward a loving look. "Edward is a keeper. He's also completely freaking out about getting your dad a Christmas gift."

"A gift, Edward? You don't have to get my dad anything." I took his hand. "Why do you want to?"

"You're planning on spending Christmas with your dad, right?" He played with my fingers.

"Yes," I answered. He knew this.

Edward kissed my wrist. "Then I'm planning on spending it with you both. Does he like cologne?"

"He likes guns. The hunting kind that can take out handsome men that are seducing his daughter." I gave Edward a wink, but he paled.

"Really?"

"I'm teasing. He likes those impossible puzzles with millions of pieces. Dad prefers picking those with wolves on snowy hillsides." I swung our hands. "Want some help picking one out?"

"I would love your help to Christmas shop," Edward said. "Is it okay of I steal her away, guys?"

Emmett shrugged and said, "We were heading to the food court anyway. Don't hurt her, Mr. Cullen."

"I won't, Mr. McCarty. Call me, Edward." He held out his hand to my friend. "I respect the way you watch out for Bella. Thank you."

Emmett just shook his hand and gave him a smile. It was easy to become Emmett's friend and Edward did it with a handshake.

Edward looked at Alice and grinned. "How you doing, Alice?"

"Hi!" She exclaimed and gave him a wave. My assistant was awestruck.

"We'll see you later," Edward linked his arm with mine. "Tanya, why don't we get together soon for dinner. Bella can meet Irina."

We were making dinner plans as a couple. This made my stomach go into knots. I wasn't nervous, just so very excited.

"Sounds perfect," Tanya told us. "Have fun shopping!"

We headed off and Edward hummed happily as we walked. He stopped in front of bookstore. "What are you getting Alice and Emmett for Christmas?"

The perfect gifts hit me as I looked at Edward. He made me so very happy.

"I want to give them what we have." I wrapped my arms around his waist. "What are your thoughts about playing matchmaker with me?"

"I love the idea," he agreed. "I know Alice has a crush on Mr. Whitlock. It's all over the office. I'm surprised that he hasn't been clued in yet. What about Emmett?"

"He has his heart set on an ice queen."

"Miss Hale, I gather. Her reputation as the building's Grinch is quite well known." Edward tapped his chin and thought. His pensive look turned into a bright smile. "If anybody can make her fall in love with Emmett it's us!"

"We do make a great team," I agreed.

Christmas is a time for love and this year I'm going to share what I have with my friends. It's going to be the best gift ever.


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: Sunday was insanely busy with Santa and Nutcrackers. I'll try to get two chapters out today. **

**Also, I want you all to send Suebee all the good thoughts and love you can muster. She's had something happen that caused great sadness and needs all our support. Thanks. **

**Finally, I'm super sensitive this year. I have a tendency to get cranky. That's over now, because I'm going to get my festive happy back. I think we should all try to!**

Chapter 6

Cookies.

I know I'm a cheapskate, but there are a few things that I won't scrimp on. Those included baking supplies and ingredients, as well as top shelf alcohol. A girl can't live on cheap wine alone.

Edward loves cookies. This shouldn't be at all surprising. The man is the picture of cookie loving, so I know something that will keep him in the holiday spirit. I took off work early to bake. I don't think I have ever made so many cookies. I should work in a bakery. It might be my calling.

"Jessica, is the complete embodiment of Ebenezer Scrooge!" Edward exclaimed as he barreled into my front door. He collapsed onto my couch with a huff. "Does that woman not realize that it's December?"

"How about some cookies and hot chocolate? I'm working on some more dough so why don't you find some fluffy Hallmark channel Christmas movie to watch while I finish up?" I place his wintery weather treats in front of him.

"You got me hot chocolate!" His eyes were bright. "You actually . .. You aren't wearing any clothes!"

I looked down at the lacy apron that was passed down by my grandmother. "Yes, I am! This is my official baking apron. It's a family heirloom."

My grandmother was cursing me from heaven right now. I could picture her waving her fists and saying words that would make the poor angels' faces turn red in mortification. It was worth my grandmother's heavenly ire to see the smile on his face.

I continued speaking as I headed into the kitchen, "Do you know how many varieties of Swiss Miss hot chocolates that are out there? I went with the peppermint, because it sounded Christmasy. You just sit and enjoy while I—"

I had just made it to the counter when Edward wrapped both arms around my waist. "You're driving me crazy, sweetheart."

"That ship has already set sail, Edward," I told him. I giggled and grabbed some flour into my hands. Turning around to face him, I blew it into his face. "I'm trying to bake here!"

"I want to do some baking. I can critique your stirring methods," he said as he hands went under my apron.

"You just want to watch my ass as I mix up some dough. Though as you can see, I use a mixer, so your attempt to watch has been thwarted. You can pass me some vanilla." I turned to my mixer. Teasing him was so much fun. I felt something wet being poured down my back. "What do you think you're doing?"

"You wanted vanilla." His tongue licked all the way down my bare back. Then there was some gagging. He rushed over to the sink and grabbed a glass. I watched him chug down a glass of water. Edward complained, "That wasn't as tasty as I imagined."

"It was vanilla extract, kinky. Of course, it wasn't going to be good going straight into your mouth. Would you like me to pour sugar down your throat next?" I leaned against the counter with my arms crossed, shaking my head at him.

Edward stalked over. "Do you know what I really want?"

"To bang me in the kitchen with the smell of baking cookies filling the air?"

He looked at me with wide eyes. "Well . . . Yes. I was planning on saying it in a more roman—"

My lips went to his to shut him up and I started unbuckling his pants. I pulled away and told him, "Do it then, honey. We need to be quick. I have cookies in the oven."

I was turned around quickly and bent over the counter, my face just inches from the mixing bowl. "Bella, this isn't going to be gentle."

"Bring it, Mr. Cullen."

Edward pushed into me so hard that I accidentally knocked over the flour. Puffs of white powder went into the air and landed on us. The sugar tumbled over and landed on our legs. Softened butter was grasped and as I reached back my slippery hands smeared the substance all over Edward's butt. We just kept going as ingredients flew and made my kitchen into a disaster area.

"God, this is so hot!" Edward panted. "It smells like we're burning up!"

It wasn't us. It was the damn cookies. My double chocolate puffs that were disgusting to make, but I was only making because I adored Edward, were becoming fiery chocolate balls. I pushed Edward off of me. He skidded on the powdery mess on the floor and fell flat on his back.

"The cookies are burning!"

I grabbed an oven mitt and pulled out the damaged bake goods. The smoke filled the air and the smoke detector went off. It hurt my ears.

"Could you wave a dish towel at the detector to turn it off?" I yelled at a dazed Edward. That thing is so loud, he could barely hear me.

"Those beautiful cookies are ruined," he complained sadly. He got up slowly and started waving the dish rag. His pants were still around his both looked like we went through a cookie war and lost.

I dumped the ruined cookies in the sink. "I made more. I have them in the tins next to the fridge."

"Thank God!" He looked significantly happier at the news.

It seems cookies always makes things better for Edward. I will have to remember that.

XXXXXX

The kitchen was cleaned. We were showered and wrapped up in blankets watching _White Christmas_.

"I never imagined that baking and sex could be so dangerous," Edward blurted out, as Danny Kaye was dancing in the moonlight with Vera-Ellen.

"Hush! This is one of my favorite parts!" I admonished him. "I love those two together. They're my favorite characters."

"Not Bing and Rosemary?"

I turned to look at Edward. There were cookie crumbs on the corners of his mouth. I wiped them off with my thumb. "They're okay, I guess. It's just that the Phil and Judy are the funny meddlers. They make me smile. I like the funny romance."

It was the truth. I could watch those scenes with the two of them scheming over and over again. I get giddy when they finally kiss. I've seen it a million times and it never gets old.

"They're just like us," Edward said quietly.

I snuggled into him. "I guess they are."


	7. Chapter 7

**AN: I promised two today! Enjoy, everybody! (Mostly, Suebee. I like when she's happy.)**

Chapter 7

"I have a name for our mission," Edward stated as we went down the hall to my office. I felt like I was in high school. He was carrying all my files like a boy would carry the books of a girl he liked. Edward likes me. I was so giggly.

"Really?" I asked between giggles.

"You are such a happy creature today," Edward shoulder bumped me with a grin. "I'm planning on making you happier at lunch."

"Naughty boy," I whispered as old Waylon shuffled by with his janitor cart. I at least tried to have some decorum at work. "What's this name now?"

Edward looked at me proudly. "Operation Mistletoe."

"Of course." I went into my office and took the files out of Edward's arms. "Everything needs a Christmas theme."

He plopped down into my desk chair. "Just see me around President's Day, baby. I'm going to make your head spin."

"Will my ovaries explode at your George Washington costume?" I inquired as I grabbed some papers out of my filing cabinet.

"You'll proudly put a sign on your front door that George Washington slept here. By here, I mean in your bed. Naked." He patted his lap. "Sit on Santa's lap and get to work. You can use me as a comfy cushion."

"Shouldn't you be heading back to your own office?" I sat on his lap. I have no self-control.

He wrapped his arms around my waist and placed his head on my shoulder. "Jessica scares me. That witch wants me to have a conference call with the guys in China."

"Oh no! She wants you to do your job! How evil is that? You poor, little boy," I teased.

Edward's delicious lips puckered up in a pout. "That's Aro's job, but the old fart is too busy doing his secretary under his desk."

I started typing in some new financial figures in Excel. "I see that he's working on a new wife. What is it now? Debbie would be six?"

"He should divorce the fifth one first," Edward grumbled. "That poor woman has no idea."

"She'll be fine. Number Five's only twenty and I heard there's a lovely prenup. She can easily move on to the next Sugar Daddy in style."

Edward sighed. "How can you be so jaded about love?"

"I'm practical," I pointed out. "Not everyone is awesome like we are. We are the picture of love."

"You are so correct, adorably wise one." Edward began nibbling on my neck, which started my giggling again.

"You have to be kidding me!" Rosalie Hale stormed into my office. Her icy face was even more frozen. I think if she ever smiled, her face would shatter in millions of ice shards. We would all perish from her moment of happiness. "Does Human Resources know about the two of you?"

"Of course, they do! We signed all the proper paperwork," Edward scoffed. "Uncle approves of this romantic entanglement."

A Carlisle Cullen blessing around here was like a blessing from the gods.

"Why did you call me up here, Mr. Cullen? I have no desire to be a voyeur to this nonsense," she stated with her standard glare.

"I'm curious too, Edward. Why is she here?" I inquired. "All the joy is being sucked out of the room."

"Well, my angel, Miss Hale signed up to help with Alice's festive gala. Your assistant has informed me that there shall be children of the staff invited to attend that will be receiving gifts from Santa. Santa needs a perky elf." Edward had a gleam in his eye that was filled with mischief.

"I guess Miss Brandon will have two jobs that night," Rosalie hissed.

"No can do!" Edward exclaimed. "She is working with Mr. Whitlock to keep the festive music going. You need to practice your cheerful laughter and hugs."

"I hate you both," Rosalie declared.

She would make a perfect Grinch. We can paint her green and she can terrify the youngsters into being good.

"Ho! Ho! Ho! Here comes Santa!" Emmett barreled into my office. He took one look at us sitting at my desk and started cracking up. "Isn't the little girl supposed to be sitting on my lap, Edward?"

"You're Santa?" Rosalie asked. Her voice was really high. It was practically a squeak.

Emmett faced her. His grin was wide. "I'm Santa every year, Miss Hale. If you ever came to one of the holiday galas you'd know."

"I'm going this year." Her normally sultry voice still was a high-pitched noise. I think dogs from miles away could hear her. I could hear howling in the distance.

"She's your elf," I happily informed my friend.

Rosalie looked faint.

Emmett walked over to her and tipped her chin up to look into his face. "I work elves hard, Miss Hale. I expect your best work. I reward accordingly. I'll make it worth your time."

Her eyes started fluttering. I do declare that Rosalie Hale was smitten. She whispered, "Okay."

"Look up," Edward told them.

There was mistletoe over their heads. Emmett gave her a quick peck on the lips. "See ya later, pretty lady."

He took off his glasses and gave her a wink. I heard him start whistling, _I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus _as he went out of my office.

Rosalie looked at us both. She was flushed and breathing heavy. "See you later."

Emmett was going to thaw her out. It was amazing. There much be some magic in my large friend, because he's doing the impossible.

"Where did the mistletoe come from?" I asked Edward.

"Don't question the powers of Operation Mistletoe, milady. Just enjoy the rewards," he answered looking smug.

I wrapped my arms around his neck. "You're pretty special, you know that?"

"I do. I think you're pretty special too."

We kissed without any mistletoe over us. We didn't need it.


	8. Chapter 8

**AN: Christmas cleaning day! Enjoy some entertaining reading today and eat cookies! **

**Suebee, may you not hate this Alice that much. She means well with her glitter pens.**

Chapter 8

I was fairly certain that Jasper Whitlock was terrified of Alice. He was hiding under a table and hidden by a festive red table cloth. I saw him slide under there when Alice was distracted by a caterer.

Alice rented out a lovely banquet room at the hotel that Edward and I had our first romantic interlude. I was getting some sentimental warm fuzzies about this place.

Florists had been placing poinsettias and festive floral arrangements on the table. I went over to the table that he was hiding under and sniffed one of the red roses that was nestled in between white lilies and holly. It smelled lovely.

"Bella, have you seen him?" Alice came running over with her gala binder. It was covered in Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer stickers and she wrote on it using a glitter pen. "I can't find him anywhere."

I felt a hand squeeze my foot. "Haven't seen him, Alice. Did you check in the cafe next door? Maybe he needed to get some caffeine. You're probably working the poor man to death."

"I just want to talk to him. I guess I'll check next door. I need a cappuccino anyway." Alice sounded so sad. Then she added, "You're here to help?"

"I'm here to make sure that you're keeping in your budget, Alice Brandon. See! I have my calculator." I held it up to her and she frowned.

"You are so mean!" She stomped out the door.

I looked under the tablecloth at the cowering, Mr. Whitlock. His blond curls covered his eyes and he was clasping and unclasping his hands. "You're saved."

"Thank you, Miss Swan. I'll just stay here until after Christmas." He pulled the tablecloth back down.

I felt a tap on my shoulder. "Drop something, Bella?"

Edward stood grinning down at me. I gave him my hand so he could help me up. Wrapping my arms around his waste, I explained, "Part two of Operation Mistletoe is a dud. Mr. Whitlock is terrified of Alice. I think you matchmaking skills are faulty, handsome."

"That's disappointing," he stated, hugging me tighter. "How do you know?"

"He's hiding under the table."

Edward looked at the table with a frown. "I'm so sorry, Jasper. Would you like me to talk to her? I can explain that you don't have feel—"

Jasper's head popped out from under the table. "I do like Miss Brandon."

"You're hiding in terror from her," I pointed out.

The man frowned. "I'm afraid of saying something stupid and she'll think I'm pathetic. Miss Brandon is like a beautiful fairy flitting among the snowflakes. I'm merely a cowardly intellectual that is far more comfortable in the virtual world where no one can touch me, Miss Swan."

Jasper Whitlock was full of deep emotions. He was so concerned with looking foolish, he was burying all those wondrous feelings.

"Jasper, can I call you that?" I asked. He nodded at me and I continued, "You are practically a poet, sir. Alice will love everything that comes out of your mouth. She already likes you so much and you haven't even really talked. I call that fate! I never believed in it before I met Edward, but it's real! You belong with Alice like I belong with Edward!"

Edward spun me around. "You truly believe this, beautiful?"

"You know I do," I said. He was smirking. "You just want a dramatic kiss right now."

"Of course!" Edward kissed me so passionately that it curled my toes.

As Edward and I pulled apart, I heard Jasper exclaim, "Wow! Are you two always like this?"

Edward answered with a hearty, "Yes!"

"You can have this too," I added.

Jasper crawled out from under the table still looking defeated. "But how?"

Edward patted his shoulder. "Let me help you! Bella, can you meet us here tonight? I'll send a car to drive you."

"I can drive my—"

He placed a hand over my mouth. "Be good and let me take care of you. There will be a delivery coming to you after work. Wear it for me tonight."

The look on Edward's face was so loving that I couldn't help agreeing. This guy was my Prince Charming.

XXXXXX

Prince Charming was lucky I loved him, because he was close to being a dead man.

I was dressed as the damn Sugar Plum Fairy. I was clad in pink satin and gemstones that didn't cover much skin. I even had on a sparkling crown. The wand in my hand was beating a poinsettia plant.

"You look like the picture of loveliness!" Edward came over and bowed. He wore a prince costume that one would wear in a ballet. He even had on the tights. They hugged every curve of his defined muscles. He was definitely not wearing any underwear. My anger was fading.

"I'm mad at you," I huffed and gently poked him with my wand.

Edward took away my wand, placing it on the table next to us. He grabbed hold of my hand and stated, "I need to give you a proper greeting, Princess."

He started at my fingertips, placing kisses on the skin and working his way up. It looked chaste, but it was highly seductive to me. When he finally reached my neck, Edward nibbled and whispered, "Tonight we shall dance."

"I don't dance," I stated with a giggle. He blew a steady stream of air on my bare skin making me laugh.

Edward kissed the tip of my ear and whispered, "I was talking about dancing horizontally, lover."

Oh my!

"You two are just so adorable," Alice said sweetly. She looked sad, but ravishing in a white snow fairy costume. The white bodice was covered in crystals and she reflected the light as she walked.

"Where did you get that beautiful costume," I inquired.

Alice smiled as she looked down at it. "A courier brought it to me today in a white box that was tied together with a blue ribbon. What a lovely surprise!"

I looked over to see my smiling Edward. A plan was afoot.

"I just wish Jasper was here to see me," she continued. A small tear dripped out of her eye. "Sometimes you don't get your wish."

"Alice, I think you need to have faith," Edward told her. He wrapped his arm around me. "Look! Emmett has something to say."

The big guy was dressed merrily in red. His beard was surprisingly real looking and that twinkle in his eye was infectious. Mrs. Claus was standing next to him and giving me dirty looks. Emmett changed Rosalie's costume! I don't think she was too happy about her new outfit. Of course, there was a pillow stuck in her dress and she had to wear a white, curly wig. I could understand her annoyance.

"Ho! Ho! Ho! Children, I have a friend that has a question for a special, little lady. Come on out, Sir Jasper of Whitlock," Emmett's voice boomed.

Jasper walked out wearing a prince costume that had actual pants not tights. He came to Alice and bowed. "Fair Alice, would you do me the great honor of being my companion this fine evening?"

"I would love to," she answered. Her eyes were filled with happiness.

Jasper held mistletoe over her head and kissed her with a mighty passion.

"I told you Operation Mistletoe would work like charm," My Edward stated smugly.

"How would you like to celebrate?" I asked rubbing my hand on his tights.

Edward ran a finger down my side. "Let us celebrate with champagne and go where the night takes us."

XXXXXX

The room I woke up in was not my own. It wasn't the hotel that the gala was held. It was too impersonal to be the room that Edward was staying at with his uncle and aunt. Where were we?

Edward's naked body was wrapped around mine. The sheets were tangled up around our legs. I noticed a shiny gold band on his ring finger. My eyes opened wider and I glanced at my own finger to find a matching ring.

Wow! This was a surprising turn of events.

I glanced at the side table where there was a cocktail napkin next to a water bottle. I reached over and grabbed it to read the words printed on it. We were in Las Vegas.

"Edward?" I whispered. "You need to wake up."

"More snuggle," he cooed. Edward rolled on top of me. "I like Bella snuggles."

"Husband, we need to chat." The weirdest part was that I wasn't freaking out about this.

"Husband?" His eyes widened and I held him in place by squeezing his ass. I removed one hand and showed him my ring finger. "Is it wrong for me to think this is awesome news?"

"I like it too," I said truthfully. His smile in return was blinding.

He kissed my ring finger. "I wished we had a wedding that I can remember."

"Me too." I rubbed his lips. "I bet you want a Christmas wedding with all the holiday trimmings. We can renew our vows next year."

Edward had his thinking face on. "We can have it Christmas Eve! Aunt Esme is a whiz at planning! It will be brilliant!"

"My dad is going to kill us." I kissed his mouth gently.

Edward hummed into my lips. "We can survive anything together."

"I don't remember consummating our marriage, Edward." I rubbed my body up and down his. "We should probably do that."

"We probably should," he agreed. His fingers went into me and rubbed back and forth. I stroked his dick gently.

This was lovemaking with tender caresses. Sweet kisses were exchanged all over each other's heated skin. When Edward entered me, his movements were slow and steady. We stared at each other with looks of adoration as he released into me.

He stroked my cheek. "I love you more than anything in this world."

"I love you," I said in return, as I cuddled into his arms.

This was what I had been missing. A love that was a miracle.

There was a loud knocking on the door. Emmett yelled, "Bella! You in there? You got married, girl!"

"I guess who the witness was," Edward said.

"The wife and I want breakfast! Get your lazy asses dressed!" Emmett yelled louder.

I sat up. "Wife?"

Operation Mistletoe had worked too well.


	9. Chapter 9

**AN: I hope you all have a wonderful day! I'll be baking more cookies. **

Chapter 9

We looked like a bunch of hungover cast members from the Bellagio's Holiday Spectacular. Emmett and Rosalie still had on their Santa and Mrs. Claus costumes on without the wigs. Rosalie's hair was a knotted mess. Emmett was wearing his beard around his neck like scarf. Edward and I looked liked disheveled ballerinas after a horrible performance of The Nutcracker. It was freezing in the All-You-Can-Eat Breakfast Buffet.

"Alice, maybe we should have worn the robes," I stated to my surprisingly quiet assistant.

Alice just stared at Jasper with her big, dark eyes. He stared back with his wide, blue ones. They were both in shock.

Finally, Jasper spoke, "I should call MeeMaw. She needs to get started on your Christmas sweater. We all get Christmas sweaters. You like kittens or puppies?"

"Kittens," she replied blankly.

"Kittens playing with Christmas ribbon then." Jasper took her hand and they continued staring.

Emmett shoveled bacon into his mouth looking thoughtful. Finally, he wiped his mouth with a napkin and replied sagely, "Kids, you can always get it annulled. Get married again later when you're both ready."

Jasper tightened his grip on Alice's hand. "I want to stay married. I'm trying to figure out all the logistics right now. Which house will we move into? Does Alice like iguanas or should I give Harry to a new home?"

"An iguana?" Alice asked in surprise. "Is he nice?"

"Gentle as a lamb." Jasper gave her a sweet smile.

"That's good. I like animals. Except for worms. They give me nightmares." Alice smiled back. "We already had sex, Emmett. I will never divorce Jasper. Ever."

There was crazy gleam in her eye. I certainly hope this works out. I can see her pulling a fatal attraction with that iguana if it doesn't.

"We should get an annulment or a divorce, Mr. McCarty. We haven't made a prenuptial agreement. I have a five year plan and after those five years, we can discuss marriage after a lengthy courtship and my becoming the newest vice-president of the company."

Emmett wrapped his hand in her hair and pulled her close. "No."

"Okay," she squeaked. "Your breath smells like bacon."

"You'll learn to love it, baby," he announced. He french kissed her and it bordered on lewd. I heard her whimper into his mouth. Emmett pulled away with a grin. "What about you and Bella, Edward?"

"We are going to get married on Christmas Eve and you are all invited," Edward announced. He poured more coffee into my cup. "Here, sweetheart."

That woke Alice up from her trance completely. She clapped her hands together. "How marvelous!"

"I need a matron of honor, Alice. You game?" I asked.

"Yes!" she chirped.

"Rosalie, I need you to glower at the event and make me want to punch you. I find it enjoyable." I pointed at her with a grimace.

"I can do that." She seemed happy to be included. I think. It's so hard to tell.

"Mr. Cullen, I have changes of clothing for you and your friends in the rooms." A regal looking man in a suit came over. He held a leather portfolio in his hands. His blond hair was slicked back and he looked like my stern fourth grade teacher.

"James! What are you doing here?" Edward asked happily. He jumped up and started shaking the man's hand.

The man pulled his hand away. "You had me bring you here, Sir. Your uncle has been informed of your nuptials and is overjoyed."

"I knew he would be happy!" Edward was beaming.

James smirked. "That and he truly enjoyed telling your father. Mr. Carlisle would like me to thank you for giving him the best Christmas gift ever. That rubbing your father's face in your wedding was joyful."

Edward continued smiling. "Glad to make him happy. Father?"

"Wishes he sold you to gypsies when you were young, Sir."

My new husband started laughing.

"Harsh," Emmett whispered loudly.

I didn't think I wanted to meet my new father-in-law. Ever.

Looking up at Edward, I asked, "Are you okay?"

Edward sat down next to me and picked up his toast. "Yeah. I've come to grips with who my father is. I always believed that family are the people you love. It doesn't matter if you're related by blood or not. I consider you all my family."

"That's so sweet!" Alice exclaimed.

Rosalie wrinkled her nose. "You are one weird guy, Edward."

"You're the cranky, spinster aunt, Rosalie," Edward said thoughtfully. "A bitter hoarder, but we love you anyway."

Emmett threw an arm around Rosalie's shoulder. "You know my lady, Edward."

The men tapped their coffee mugs together.

Jasper looked like he was figuring out a puzzle. "Could you tell us what exactly happened last night? You are the only one who can fill in the blanks."

"Certainly, Mr. Whitlock." James opened up his portfolio. "We took the private jet at Mr. Cullen's request to Las Vegas. I denied his request to fly the plane due to his inebriated state."

"You _have_ a plane?" I asked in surprise.

Edward kissed my head. "It's Uncle's."

My follow-up question was more important. "You can fly a plane?"

"Well . . . No. That is a bit surprising," Edward said. "I can't do that."

James cleared his throat. "We traveled to a tattoo parlor where Mrs. Cullen wished to tattoo her name on her . . . Ahem . . . Private lady area. She saw the needle and fainted. Mrs. Brandon and Mrs. McCarty, received the tattoos instead."

"So that's why my butt's sore!" Alice cried. "You didn't do it to me, Jasper!"

What?

"It's Hale-McCarty," Rosalie stated morosely. "God, I need a Bloody Mary."

I rested my chin on Edward's shoulder, "This is just getting crazier and crazier."

"Yes, Mrs. Cullen. The level of insanity was staggering," James agreed. "Next we headed to the Drive-in Wedding Chapel where Lionel Richie performed the ceremony."

"Lionel Richie? That singer in the eighties? That's some old school jams," Alice said. She stole a berry off of Jasper's plate and popped it in her mouth.

"So it was an impersonator?" I asked. You would at least think we would have a fat Elvis. He could even sing some of the King of Rocking Roll's biggest hits.

"No. Mr. Cullen called the actual Mr. Richie. He is headlining some shows at a nearby casino," James explained.

Edward looked completely lost. "Why did I call Lionel Richie? How did I get his number?"

"You were adamant that he was your favorite performer, Mr. Cullen. I have connections and made it possible to contact him," James told us. He motioned to a waitress. "Check, please."

"I like Lionel Richie? He's okay, but a favorite?" Edward rubbed his forehead, looking down

I had to tease him. "You don't like _Dancing on the Ceiling_ while you say _Hello_?"

"It was you!" His head shot up. "You put Lionel Richie into my brain."

"I don't remember it, but probably. My mom loves Lionel Richie. Used to play him all the time." I gave Edward a wink. "He's now your favorite too!"

Edward leaned in close. "You need to be punished."

"I do love a good spanking." I squeezed his upper thigh.

"We do need to be getting home," James stated as he closed his portfolio shut. "Your uncle wants you to join him and Mrs. Esme for dinner this evening to welcome your new bride into the family."

Emmett rubbed his belly. "Did you get any pictures or videos of what we did? I want to show the grandkids someday."

"Of course, Mr. McCarty. Just in case evidence was needed. I shall forward them to you." James signed the bill that the red-headed waitress handed him. I think I saw a tiny blush on his face when she winked at him.

"James, we need to spend a few more hours here. We should make it back by dinner." Edward stood, adjusted his tights, and held out his hand to help me stand.

"Why?" I wondered.

Edward kissed my hand and whispered in my ear. "You've been a bad girl."

Lionel Richie would be getting a thank-you note from this lady.


	10. Chapter 10

**AN: Thinking of Suebee today. **

**I'm also thinking of today's Gingerbread House decorating party at the preschool and the Santa Train tonight. There shall be many sugared up kids in my future today. Wish me luck and lots of coffee.**

Chapter 10

Carlisle and Esme Cullen were not at all what I expected. The way I thought how they would act was the complete opposite of reality.

They had those inflatable holiday decorations on their front lawn. A giant Santa was bobbing in the breeze next to a dancing penguin in a tutu and a reindeer wearing sunglasses. The multi-colored lights on their house could be seen from outer space.

Inside, the Cullens wore hideous Christmas sweaters. Esme's sweater was pink and covered in Santas. There was lace around the collar. Carlisle had a red one with a giant Santa head in the middle. The dialogue bubble coming out of it read, Ask Me About My Mistletoe.

Carlisle was sitting next to a roaring fire, but he was drinking egg nog not the amber colored whiskey I imagined in my head. It was definitely spiked. His cheeks were bright red and merry.

It was now apparent where Edward got his Christmas spirit. It was catching in this house like chicken pox or the mumps with no vaccine available.

"So I told Ed to shove it," Carlisle explained, as he spoke about Edward's father. "Junior, you should have seen how angry he got. It was amazing. It's not my fault that I'm more of a father to you than he is."

In this house, Edward was Junior. He was treated like the child they never had. This meant that Edward was completely spoiled and treated like a little prince. Esme greeted him at the door with cookies and a candy cane. My new husband was eating it up.

Edward patted his uncle's back and came over to sit with me on the couch. "I got the best dad ever with you, Uncle Carl."

"You did." Carlisle took a sip of nog. It left a white mustache over his lips. "I invited the asshole, but who knows. Elizabeth is coming."

"Cool. Is Mom bring Raoul?" Edward asked throwing his arm around my shoulders.

Carlisle nodded yes with a smirk.

"Who's Raoul, Edward?" I asked in confusion. There was a good possibility that this answer required liquor so I drank some wine.

"Mom's lover. He was her tennis instructor," he explained completely nonchalant about the situation. "Mom likes rubbing him in Dad's face. This leads Dad to bring Amber the masseuse."

"These are the same people who wanted the perfect house and gave you _Moby Dick_ as a gift? They seem to have relaxed their thoughts on looking respectable." I squeezed Edward's hand to give him comfort, but he wasn't looking upset at all.

"_Moby Dick_," Carlisle snickered, causing Edward to laugh.

When Edward finally composed himself, he told me, "They were probably always like that, but I saw my parents so rarely I didn't notice. I have Uncle Carl and Aunt Esme, so I lucked out really."

"Story has it that Great-Great-Grandmother Cullen married her second cousin," Esme came over placed a tray of Christmas goodies on the coffee table. "Don't get me started on the inbreeding rumors about the Masens! Rich people are odd, Bella dear. It's amazing that Carl and Junior turned out so well."

Esme was an open book. She told all the family secrets over dinner. Her family was a bunch of dirt farmers from Kansas. Carlisle met her at a diner where she was a waitress and it was love at first sight much to his family's chagrin. I had a champion in this woman and I really liked her.

"Darling, it's just a bunch of rumors. There's no real proof," Carlisle stated, but he started snickering again. "It's just probable."

Hopefully, my genetics would be the dominant ones with any future children that I have with Edward.

Esme sat on Carlisle's lap. She patted his cheek. "Hi there, Santa."

They were adorable, as they gave each other a sweet kiss..

She turned to me. "Are you sure that you want to give me free reign with this wedding planning?"

"I trust you." I was a perfectly happy just being married to Edward. This wedding was my Christmas present to him. "I'm sure it will be beautiful."

"I knew the moment I saw her that I loved this girl, Junior. Good choice!" Esme clapped her hands. She grew serious, "Your mother?"

"She hasn't given me her new cell number. Mom is forgetful about these things. She always calls before Christmas and I'll tell her then. If she can't—"

Edward put a finger to my lips. "We'll get her here. We just need to tell your dad tomorrow."

"You have a bullet proof vest, right?" I asked with a grin.

"Oh God," Edward groaned. He buried his face in my neck.

Carlisle stood up quickly. His wife tumbled to the floor and he helped her up. "Sorry, my love! We're getting down in the dumps over nothing! We need some more old fashioned holiday fun to brighten things up! Esme, is the church caroling still happening?"

"Yes, Chelsea is going to do a rotten job. She forgot to get the hot chocolate for everyone and no cookie party afterwards! What is she thinking? She's not! Those babies will be devastated!" Esme complained and stuffed a cookie in her mouth. She chewed angrily.

"How about we fix this, Aunt Esme?" Edward stood and went over to hug his aunt. "We can set-up a cookie party and provide the hot chocolate! Then we all can sing the Christmas favorites through the town."

"Junior, my little holiday blessing!" She hugged him tighter.

Their love was a tiny bit sickening, but sweet. I bet they still pretend to be Santa for him on Christmas morning. Actually, I was pretty damn positive.

"We just need to make sure my Bella has her coffee," he explained brightly. He than stage whispered with a grimace, "Can you believe she hates chocolate?"

He than gave me a teasing smile and a wink. I really loved this man. I was becoming sickeningly sweet too.

"Bella dear, we need to fix that!" Carlisle exclaimed. "I'll pay you to drink hot chocolate. How much?"

I gave him a dirty look. "Let's just get this caroling party started."

XXXXXX

The sky was filled with stars as we walked with the New Hope Congregational Church caroling party. Edward had one arm wrapped around my waist as he sang very loudly. His voice was beautiful like angels singing and bells ringing.

His version of _Silent Night_ was appropriate for Broadway.

However, I was told to keep drinking my coffee. It seems my singing made feral cats screech into the night sky. It scared the little children causing them to cry uncontrollably into their hot chocolate. The December air was filled with wailing and caterwauling. It was frightening.

Esme saved the day with candy canes.

That Chelsea woman looked like she wanted to punch Esme in the face.

It was completely an accident when I tripped her and she landed face first onto the pavement. Poor Chelsea had to go home. Seriously, it was an accident. I swear it was. She got in the way of my foot.

Esme rewarded me with two candy canes and a kiss on the cheek.

It was an accident. Maybe.

After the beginning craziness, it was lovely caroling again. We strolled down streets lined with houses brightly decorated for Christmas. Edward stopped singing and pulled me tighter against him, as we paused in front of a nursing home. Patients were being wheeled into the front yard and slowly shuffled out onto the porch.

He whispered in my ear, "This is so much more fun with you here."

The group began to sing, _Jingle Bells_.

"We need mistletoe," I said quietly.

"Ask and you shall receive." Edward pulled a sprig out of his pocket and put it over my head. "Kiss me, woman."

We kissed and the children giggled. The senior citizens clapped. It was amazing.

I heard snickering. Carlisle loudly announced, "My turn next!"

I hope he meant to use it with Esme.


	11. Chapter 11

**AN: This is my gift to all of you. 2014 has been horrible for a lot of us. Me included. Some things are going on and if you could keep my family in your prayers that would be lovely. I'm wishing all of you a happier 2015 too. **

**Sueebee is the best. **

**Thank you to The FicSister's, Tarbecca from A Different Forest, and Book Temptations for recommending this story! **

Chapter 11

"That is _really_ pink," Edward stared at the tree in the living room of my father's house.

It had been pinker, but the years had faded the magenta into more of a Pepto Bismol pink. It had an assortment of reindeers made of clothes pins, garland made from construction paper that had seen better days, and cotton ball snowmen.

"It is." I was used to it, but it was shocking to newcomers.

Edward touched one of the branches gently like it would shatter at his touch. "It's the dream of a little girl. I can see it covered in Hello Kitty and My Little Pony ornaments."

"I should have done that. Damn it." I started snickering.

"You never had any of those girly things did you?" He asked before poking me on my nose.

"Nope. I did have plenty of Transformers and Power Rangers," I admitted.

Edward grinned. "That's my girl "

My father wandered in and places a 24-pack of beer onto the coffee table. It was a Bud Light bonanza of brew the color of pee.

"Married, huh?" My father announced. He collapsed on the couch, popped open a brew and stuck his hand down his pants.

"It seemed like a good idea at the time, Dad. At least I think so. We were drunk," I admitted. I opened my own beer and took a long drink. The couch was comfortable, so I decided to sit next to Dad. "I'm happy. Be supportive, old man."

Edward looked likes a frightened squirrel. I think he was soon going to make a run for it to the nearest tree.

"How long you know this boy?" I saw his hand slowly inching for the remote control. There was a football game on. We were going to be just fine with my dad.

"A couple of weeks, I guess. You know how it is, Dad. True love and all that kind of good stuff."

Edward was having a panic attack. Poor baby.

Dad watched him and looked unimpressed. "That's dumb. I dated your mother for four years first. Knew what I was getting into."

"Nothing good," I pointed out sagely. "How did that work out for you?"

"Smart ass," my dad muttered. "You're making a little bit of sense. Not too much, just a tiny bit. Does rich boy know that you're smarter than him? Have a degree from a good college? You can provide for him?"

"Sir, I find your daughter's intelligence staggering in a most ama—" Edward began.

"Was I talking to you, boy?" My father's eyes were bright with mirth. He was enjoying this. "Shut it, sit down, and start drinking beer like a man. We don't do any fruity women drinks in my house."

"When you were getting all feminist on me, Dad, you pull out the fruity drinks card. You are a puzzle, Chief Swan," I laughingly said.

"Like to keep you guessing, kid." He gave me a wink and we watched Edward try to choke down America's best light beer. America's best light beer according to my dad. It tasted like water flavored with something resembling beer.

My dad stretched his long legs out and took a drink of beer staring at Edward. He rubbed his mustache that made him look like Burt Reynolds in those old movies in the seventies. I think this was a conscious style choice on my father's part. He watched VHS copies of those films throughout my childhood. He now owns them on DVD. God help us all, when he discovers the power of WiFi and streaming movies. He won't even have to leave his chair to constantly salivate over _Smoky and the Bandit_. Dad definitely has a man crush on Burt.

Dad cracked his knuckles. I found it hilarious, but Edward was shaking slightly. "Boy, you have a death wish?"

"No, sir." The shaking became more obvious.

"Humph." Dad drank some more and tapped his knee slowly. "You know I have guns?"

"Yes, sir." Edward was shaking harder.

Dad snorted. "I'm the law in this town. I can get away with everything. I am God with a goddamn badge."

My father was full of bullshit. Nothing happened in this town, but Jacob Black and his fake gang drinking 40's out of paper bags outside of the Walmart. Wolfpack? They should call themselves, Scared Little Lambs. They would see my dad, apologize profusely, and offer to clean the interstate of litter as a penance for future no good activities. Those activities were once again drinking outside the Walmart. It was an unending cycle.

I still can't believe I dated that idiot when I was in high school. I just wanted a boyfriend. It wasn't like I was picky. I would have dated Tyler the chess club president if he asked me first. My dating Jacob was doomed from the beginning. He kissed me and I kneeled him in the balls. Jake tried to hold my hand and I sprayed him with the mace that Dad gave me to use on him. Poor guy. He got no love from me.

"Chief Swan, I—" The trembling was getting poor Edward.

"Dad, tone it down," I warned.

Dad was having a great time. "One more, Bella! This is the best gift ever."

"Putting fear into the heart of your son-in-law?" I asked. I gave Dad my best stink eye.

"Yep, kid, the very best." Dad pointed his finger at Edward like a gun. "Son, if you're ever naughty to my daughter, I'll be giving you the Christmas gift of an ass kicking. Since Bells told me you've been pretty good to her, I'll give you my blessing for this marriage. I won't be wearing a tux to this wedding shindig. I have my dress uniform. It will give some dignity to this event."

"Thank you, sir. I love your daughter very much. Bella is a dream come true. I think we were always meant to be together. It was fate that brought us to this point. Some would say that this might be too fast, but I say that our souls were kept apart for far too long. We are always. The epitome of true love in a world gone mad," Edward explained. He raised his beer in the air, "Our love will be one that will be written about—"

"Jesus, does he always talk this much?" My dad looked at Edward like he did at Mr. Molina. Mr. Molina collected trash and made them into robot friends he could talk to. My old science teacher was a certifiable nut. My dad, it seems, thought Edward was the same way.

I walked over to Edward's chair and sat on his lap. "Yes. I find it adorable. Don't you?"

"No, kid." my dad announced. He grimaced as he looked at me in my new Edward seat. Edward's hands were rubbing my waist under my shirt. It was an unconscious move that brought Edward comfort. "Get off his lap! You two are making this old man nauseous! Pretend that you two are Amish and this is courting season until that ceremony."

"Actually, sir, during rumspringa the Amish youth get quite randy and—" Edward was pushing his luck.

Dad crushed his beer can. "Pretend you're in that weird religious family on TV who have all those damn kids."

Edward smiled his brightest smile. "I want to have a large family with Bella. I think her stomach swollen with our child will be the most beautiful sight in the world."

"Bella, may I please wave my gun at him?" Dad opened another beer.

"No," I told him. "Are you sure you need another beer? That dress uniform of yours doesn't fit."

"Yes it does!" My dad gave me the stink eye. I learned the stink eye from him. A Swan family trait.

"Maybe without the beer belly," I pointed out.

Edward watched us banter and chimed in, "We should borrow your Dad's truck and move my stuff into your house, Bella. It could be a holiday moving party. Aunt Esme can make cranberry scones and quiche. We can play Christmas music!"

"What is wrong with that boy?" Dad asked.

"Story says inbreeding," I admitted. "Could just be rumors."

Dad buried his face in his hands. "Oh God."

Dad would learn to love Edward.

Someday.

Probably.

We'll just have to keep him drunk on Bud Light.


	12. Chapter 12

**AN: I hope your Saturday is filled with joy.**

Chapter 12

Unroll.

Measure.

Tape.

Stick on a bow.

Place a label with a hastily written name.

Repeat.

I truly detest wrapping gifts. This year is making me wrap more than ever before. I have been know to stick presents into a bag, both plastic and paper, and drawing a smily face on the front as wrapping.

That was my past. My future is now fancy paper covered in Christmas trees or Santa Claus topped with shiny bows and ribbon. It is my own private hell. There will be a nightmare of endless piles of presents that will never be finished being wrapped. The more I wrap, the more presents appear .

Edward, my love, needs to help with all this mess. He disappeared and left me with all this holiday wrapping. I kept nicking my finger on the sharpened edge of the tape dispenser. My blood was dripping onto the tissue paper.

"Bella?" I heard him in the doorway as I was wrestling with the wrapping paper. Why the hell was it so thin? It kept ripping.

I went to fold the corners and the stupid paper ripped again. "It didn't look so thin in the plastic! They should be ashamed of themselves!"

It wasn't like it was the stuff that I purchased at the Dollar Store. Edward bought these overpriced rolls at some fancy stationary store. These definitely weren't worth what he paid for them.

"Baby, put down the tape. You look like your about to murder someone," Edward stated.

I was going to murder someone. It was whoever decided that charging a small fortune for wrapping paper was a good ides. A deluxe package of paper towels could be purchased for that amount. It was just crazy.

"Look at me, Bella love."

The damn tape was stuck to my fingers. I shook my hand trying to free myself from its grasp.

"I'm trying to wrap," I pointed out. I needed gin. Lots of gin without my beloved tonic.

"I have something for you to unwrap," Edward said. I looked up to find him covered in wrapping paper.

Oh my God.

"How much did you pay for those rolls you're wearing?" Those better have been on clearance.

Edward shuffled over to me in his wrapping costume. "I find it sexy when you worry about prices, Bella. You do need to unwrap my overpriced paper now."

"I knew it!" I jumped up. "That is such a waste of—"

He scooped me up into his arms and kissed me to the point of breathlessness. I was putty in his hands.

Edward ran his hands down my sweater dress. "I like you in dresses, but I love you naked."

My sweater dress was pulled over my head and Edward's warm hands teased my cool skin with his touch .

"I thought I was supposed to be unwrapping you?" I couldn't help questioning him. He was so overdressed. I gently started to remove the tape so I could reuse the paper later.

"Just rip it off me, baby," Edward forcibly told me. He bit the top of my breast making me squeal in surprise. "I'll buy fucking more."

Whoa.

"But I can use it for—" I started to say, as he stopped my words with another kiss.

It was the catalyst that drove me to rip off the paper in huge chunks. It flew in the air as I sucked on the skin that was revealed. I pulled away when I saw a red, silky ribbon tied around his cock.

I gave him a cheeky grin as I untied him. "You didn't go with your dick in a box?"

"What?" He seemed confused.

"The _Saturday Night Live_ skit, Edward. My dad is a huge Samberg fan. He thinks he's the second coming of Sandler."

Edward looked surprised, "That's amazing! Your father is a SNL fan!"

"No. I'm joking with you. He has no clue who either one of those guys are." I started giggling over my own joke.

He flipped me onto the floor. The ripped of pieces of wrapping paper became my mattress. "Everything is a joke with you, Bella. I love it."

"Dad says were supposed to be acting Amish right now," I whispered. His hands were rubbing my clit. That perfect mouth of his was leaving light kisses all over my neck.

Edward muttered in my chest, "I don't give a shit."

I pulled his head up by the hair. "You have a potty mouth tonight. It's hot."

"You're making me amorous, Bella. Watching you bent over and wrapping those presents makes me want to take you from behind."

I pushed him off and went on all fours. I looked back and fluttered my eyelashes. "Do it, tiger."

He actually growled at me and took my hips in his hands. "You look lovely in the light of the Christmas tree."

"I would look even better with you buried deep inside me, Romeo," I stated and licked my lips slowly.

"Minx." Edward plunged into me hard, almost knocking me down.

The stereo played jazz instrumentals of Christmas music standards as I yelled Edward's name with a few happily cried curses mingled in. Edward tugged my hair like it was a rein. It was sweaty, intense, and the perfect break from that cursed wrapping.

Finally, after what seemed like hours of intense lovemaking, we collapsed in a heap on the floor. I placed my head on his chest. He was the best sort of pillow. Edward pulled a roll of wrapping paper over us.

"That's the biggest waste ever," I mumbled sleepily into his skin. "It doesn't even work to keep us warm."

"Your background in accounting is going to be good for us. You can keep me on the right track." He stroked my back.

I laughed. "It doesn't seem like it's working so far."

"It is. I promise." He kissed my head.

"I should get up. I need a nice, long bubble bath after all that wrapping and strenuous exercise." I started to get up and Edward pulled me back onto him.

"Let's cuddled a little first and then we can get a shower." Edward hugged me tightly. "You have presents to finish wrapping."

I wiggled out of his embrace. "You finish up, Master Wrapper. I see a bubble bath in my future. Join me when you're done."

He sat up on his elbows and watched me sashay away.

"Best sight ever," he called after me. "Belonging to the best wife."

I blew a kiss to the best husband. He made me feel alive.


	13. Chapter 13

**AN: This weekend was tough, so this is a little late. Another one later and three more after that.**

**Thank you for reading and then go read Suebee's Beneath the Mistletoe Entry. She won a prize! Yay! **

Chapter 13

Dresses were everywhere in the large bedroom. Esme was taking notes and making Alice twirl around in an icy blue dress. Alice was a twirler. She was making me dizzy.

"Is Elsa going to sing, _Let It Go_?" I wondered aloud, making Rosalie snort. I might like her after all.

"Why did you call me Elsa? Are you giving me a new nickname?" Alice stopped her spinning and was trying not to appear dizzy. It wasn't working. She was swaying like a palm tree in a tropical breeze.

"I'm talking about _Frozen. T_he Disney movie you're obsessed with, Alice. I'm teasing you." I was wearing a wedding dress, with the fluffy skirt and sitting on the bed. There was a Twizzler sticking out of my mouth like a cigarette. I was wrapping Edward's Christmas presents.

Alice was truly obsessed with that movie. I was positive it wasn't the moral about the true power of the love between sisters, but the singing snowman that made her giddy. Alice was also quite enamored of Frosty the Snowman. She must have men made of snow fetish.

Esme stopped hemming the bottom of Rosalie's dress and looked up at me. "Bella dear, stop sticking tape to your dress."

I looked at the white satin covered with tape strips. "The pieces I cut off are too big. I can use them for something else."

"It's not rocket science, Bella." Rosalie gave me the most perfect eyeball roll ever. "Just hurry up. I've never seen someone so obsessed with wrapping a damn toy."

The Luke Skywalker staring creepily through the plastic of his box. Those boy action figures were worse than Barbies with their blank eyed, evil stares. He was going to suffocate me in my sleep. At least, I got Han Solo and Darth Vader wrapped up in festive gold and silver paper that I knew Edward would find pleasing.

Yoda was hanging out on a pillow making me nervous. That little, green beast scared me.

"Is that what you're really giving Edward for Christmas?" Rosalie asked, her perfectly plucked eyebrow rose. I thought I heard the ice that created her face cracking at the movement. "I got Emmett a subscription to the _Journal of Accountancy_."

"He already gets that, Ice Queen. If you left you ice palace in Narnia once in awhile you would know." I cut some more wrapping paper. "Emmett likes to fish. He goes out on a boat a couple times a year to try and catch the big one."

I saw from the corner of my eye, Rosalie lunging for her phone. Esme was knocked back after being hit by Rosalie's foot. "Do you search fish on Amazon?"

She might be more whipped than I was. Maybe. We might actually be equals in this.

"Did you get yourself a Princess Leia to play with too, Bella? She can kiss Edward's Han Solo. It will be romantic!" Alice exclaimed happily.

I could say that Alice was off base. If this was years earlier, I would find her words ridiculous. However, now is a far different time and I was a different woman. I did, in fact, have a Leia figure in my possession to stick in my stocking. Edward admitted his fantasy of me dressing up as her in that golden bikini. He also said I could wear the white dress and the cinnamon buns on the side of my head, because he wasn't picky. This was my way of showing I was game for his sci-fi role playing. I wouldn't be surprised in the least if he was okay with me dressing up like an Ewok.

Edward Cullen was enamored of _Star Wars_. The first time Carlisle showed him the film, Edward was instantly taken with it. Edward Sr. would never let his son watch such nonsense. There was many hours of watching CSPAN and documentaries in his father's house. I imagined that Edward thought himself as Han Solo and his dad was Darth Vader. If it made Edward happy to have these toys he wasn't allowed in his youth then I was going to get them for him.

I did almost have a heart attack when I purchased them on Ebay. Hundreds of dollars for toys in original packaging was ridiculous. Love made you ridiculous, so I happily punched in my credit card number on the keyboard. Maybe not happily, but I did it anyway.

"Leia? Maybe," I mumbled. A little louder, I asked, "What did you get Jasper, Alice?"

She spun around again. "I got him notebooks to write me poems."

"That's adorable," Esme cooed. "I should do that for Carl."

"Wait . . . You got a gift for yourself through what appears to be a gift for him?" I grabbed evil Yoda to cover in paper. I wondered if Edward could keep them in the closet. That way they would never haunt my dreams.

"Yes." Alice spun around again.

There was a brilliance to her. It always surprised me.

"Bella! I found her!" Edward burst into the room. He wore a Cullen original ugly sweater. It had a blinking red reindeer nose. I was mesmerized by it. "No! You're wearing your dress!"

He covered his face and I hid Yoda with one of Esme's fluffy pillows.

Esme started to laugh. "Don't worry, Edward. She covered this one with tape. We'll go with another dress."

"Isabella Marie Swan, you're really getting married?" My mother floated in wearing a tunic and a flowing skirt of rainbow colors. He hair was in cornrows. She was extremely tan like she had spent every day in the tropical sun. There was no snowy weather were she was residing. "What _are_ you thinking?"

She wiggled her eyebrows at me and made a vintage Renee crude gesture toward Edward. Nothing much concerned my mother.

"That I'm in love. I'm already Edward's wife. We went the Renee and Phil route," I explained. I winked at my mom. "I learned from the best."

"Drunk in Vegas? Fun times, pumpkin." My mother looked at the wedding dress with a critical eye. "You should have the ceremony completely naked. You did the legal route. Now you can commune with Mother Earth with a coupling ceremony. The rest of us will beat drums and chant as you become one with this handsome man of yours."

"You mean they have sex as we play music?" Rosalie asked looking ill.

Esme came over and hugged my mom. "Aren't you a breath of creativity! It's a little cold for that with winter and all the snow."

"That's true. Phil and I have been in Hawaii running a juice bar. The weather there is perfect for naked vows, Here not so much," my mother said sadly. "It was lovely when Phil and I renewed our vows last month in that way. There was a tribe who gave us—"

"Are you sure it was a tribe, Mom? It could have been a band of homeless men," I pointed out. It wouldn't have been the first time.

Mom wrinkled her tiny nose in concentration. "You might be right. Those men were awfully dirty. We rewarded them with tiny bottles of alcohol."

My mother was crazy. She was the first in the long line of crazy that I seem to attract. All my friends were and my gorgeous husband was certifiable. I wasn't completely sane myself, so I shouldn't complain.

Edward walked over and put an arm around my shoulder. "I like this idea of your mother's"

"You want people to see me naked? Cool. I'm sure my dad will be thrilled with this development. I could probably hide the bullets," I gave Edward a kiss. "You want to call him?"

"No," Edward stated. There was fear in his eyes.

My mother clapped her hands. "Charlie is still a hoot."

Edward hugged me tighter. "I did a good thing finding your mom?"

"The best." I smiled as I watched my mom join Alice in her spinning.

This wedding was going to be perfect insanity. I couldn't wait.


	14. Chapter 14

**AN: Hi friends! I hope you are all having Christmas fun. Enjoy!**

Chapter 14

"I know you love Christmas, Edward, but we have too much to do for the wedding!" I looked out the bright and colorful miniature houses surrounding us. "Two adults without children look mightily out of place in Santa's Village."

The village was full of elf sized gingerbread houses decorated with candy canes, gumdrops, and lollipop fences. The fake snow on the ground reminded me of cotton candy. I was waiting for a witch to burst out cackling and scoop up the unsuspecting children who were darting in and out of the houses. This place was more suited as the Hansel and Gretel amusement park.

"We need to see Santa, my love. This is part of the perfect Christmas. I promise not to sit on his lap or make you do it either." Edward held my hand tightly. "Unless you really want to."

There was a chance that Edward just liked to be around the happiness of Christmas and suck it like he was drinking it from the air with a straw. There was a larger possibility that Edward believed in Santa and that once he moved in with his uncle and aunt they took over the role of jolly, old Saint Nick. Now that I know Esme I can imagine a giant fib about Santa finally being able to give Edward good gifts. Edward's father was the Grinch, of course.

I was going to pretend to be Santa for Edward and our kids. Ho. Ho. Ho.

"What are you going to ask him?" I wondered. He already had everything under the sun. If he didn't have it, Esme and Carlisle probably brought it for him for Christmas.

"I'm actually going to thank him." Edward kept pulling me to the very authentic looking Santa. He had the rosy cheeks, sparkling eyes of blue, and snowy beard that made little children squeal in excitement.

"For what?" We went into line behind the tired mothers, cranky fathers, and twitchy youngsters.

Edward grinned. "You'll see."

A dark haired boy with a cowlick tugged on Edward's pants. "Hey mister, where are your kids?"

Edward knelt down to the child's level. "I don't have any children yet. I'm here to see Santa."

"You're a big guy. Big guys don't believe in Santa Claus, elves, and all that junk." The kid's eyes narrowed distrustfully.

"I believe!" Edward exclaimed. He handed the child a candy cane. "You can never stop believing, because Christmas is magic. Old can only come down your chimney if he knows that you fully have the Christmas spirit. He'll leave you wonderful gifts under your tree because you have been really good this year. You've been really good, haven't you?"

"Mommy, this weird man gave me candy." the boy spat. "Stranger danger!"

I should have stopped Edward. I knew that it was going to end badly. He was just so cute talking to the little jerk so sweetly. He would make a wonderful father someday to our own little jerks. He would spoil them rotten and I would make them behave with my no nonsense disciplinary style. We would be perfect good and bad cops. Those children would never defeat us.

The very tired mother looked at Edward with a stern frown. The woman's other child was sleeping in a stroller. There was a strand of spit that ran down the little girl's mouth The mother's hair was pulled into a lopsided ponytail and her snowman sweatshirt was covered in mustard. At least I hoped it was. "What do you think you're doing? You're here without a kid. Are you some kind of pervert?"

Edward was in shock. His mouth dropped open and he looked like he was going to faint. He stood up quickly and threw his hands in the air like this woman was the police.

I rested my hand on my stomach. "How dare you! We wanted the baby to meet Santa for the first time. I know it sounds silly, but we love this time of year and we want our sweet baby to discover the magic of Christmas from the very beginning!"

I blinked my eyes quickly trying to feign tears. The things I do for my Edward so people won't think he's a predator.

"Oh love, you're having my baby!" Edward hugged my belly. It grumbled, because I was starving and the husband promised me good hamburgers after this. He exclaimed, "Our angel is kicking!"

Oh God. The woman looked at us in confusion.

"He's just so excited about our child that it's always like he's hearing it for the first time," I lied in so many ways. "My Edward is going to be an amazing father to our precious."

Edward was grinning from ear to ear. I was going to feel bad about bursting his bubble.

The woman looked embarrassed. "I'm so sorry! Congratulations! You were so kind to Sammy that I just know that you'll make a great dad."

"Thank you. I completely understand your concern," Edward kindly told her. He directed his attention back to me and whispered, "Why didn't you tell me sooner? This is incredible."

I shuffled my feet and gave him a small smile. "I'm not completely lying."

"Bella—"

"I mean someday my eggs will be joined with your sperm. Those two elements are here now. In a way, the baby is here only not completely finished yet." I gestured at the two of us. "We just split up the baby between the two of us for the moment."

Edward grinned. "Crazy girl. You want kids someday, right?"

"With you? I guess so," I teased. "They are going to be such pretty babies liked their daddy. Let's just have some adult time fun first. Enjoy this marriage thing."

"You just want your wine," he teased back.

"Damn straight, lover boy." I gave him a kiss, ignoring the hiss of anger from another harried mother for my use of a curse word. It wasn't _that _bad. I could've said fuck.

"Edward, my boy! Come on up here!" Santa bellowed, waving us over. It seems that Edward comes here a lot. "What are wishing for this year? Another boat?"

"The remote control variety, right?" I asked.

"No. Last year I got a great sailboat. We'll take it out in the spring." Edward thought this was no big deal.

Damn that indulgent, pretend Santa, Carlisle and his boat giving ways. I hope Edward would still love my gifts of freshly baked cookies and sexual hijinks. I might win this one.

Edward turned to the jolly man with the beard. "Santa, I'm not asking for anything this year. I already got the greatest gift. I want to thank you for my Bella. I wished for her last year on the North Star and you delivered!"

"Son, you deserve happiness. You're a good boy," Santa stated, and looked at me. "What a beautiful girl she is!"

Santa wiggled his eyebrows at me. Santa was a pervert.

I ignored dirty Kris Kringle, instead concentrating on Edward. "You always say the sweetest things to me. I feel like you're the best Christmas present I've ever received!"

We were the cheesiest people in the whole entire world. If everyone was like us, the nations would be like a sappy Hallmark Christmas card commercial. All wide smiles and hugs while strolling down country roads. It would get boring. Maybe our cheesy was enough after all.

"Are you going to sit on my lap, little girl?" Santa said to me with a creepy not festive leer. "Or Edward can. Either one would work."

Oh.

Umm . . . No.

"We have to get going! Things to buy and presents to wrap!" I said quickly, grabbing Edward's hand. "Edward, let's go."

"Nice seeing you again, Santa!" Edward yelled as I pulled him away. "Don't you think he's great, Bella?"

"Sure." If I liked my Santas to be horny, old farts then he would be grand. Poor Edward need a new Santa to look up to.

We traveled through the gingerbread houses. Children still running and laughing with the spirit of Christmas. In the corner of my eye, I saw it. A lonely gingerbread house in the back with caution tape covering the door. It didn't look like it had any structural problems. Maybe it was just being redecorated. An idea struck.

"Remember about that little fantasy you told me about?" I asked. I led him to the house.

"Which one, Bella? I have a lot." This was very true. He was a creative man when it came to sexual frolicking.

"The getting intimate in Santa's house. Would an elf's house do?" I cocked my head at the house and his eyes widened.

"Yes, please!" He helped me go under the tape and through the small door. It was surprisingly roomy inside "We'll have to go quick!"

Edward was already about to burst out of his pants. I observed, "I don't think being quick is going to be a problem."

I unzipped his jeans as he hiked up my skirt. He smiled as he pulled down my tights finding no underwear in the way. I found that in this marriage that easy access was important.

Edward mouth pressed against mine, as he plunged his fingers into me. I bit his shoulder to keep from screaming. He knew how to make me insane with a few touches. The man had a gift. When he entered me, Edward was the one screaming, "Oh God, my little vixen! Jingle my balls!"

I clasped my hand over his mouth.

"John, that sign says you can't go in there!" A woman's voice chastised.

"But Mommy, I hear voices. I bet there are elves in there!"

Oh no! I tried to push Edward off, but he was in the zone. "Edward, you need to get off!"

"You are my Mrs. Santa!" he bellowed.

The door swung open and a little boy laughed. "Mommy! I see that man's butt!"

XXXXXX

"I can't believe we were banned from Santa's village," Edward stated as we drove away and headed to dinner at a local pub.

I squeezed his hand that wasn't on the wheel. "We kind of deserved it. At least we weren't arrested!"

"That's the glass half full, my Bella." He grinned at me.

"Did you have a good time?"

Edward brought my knuckles up to kiss them. "With you always."


	15. Chapter 15

**AN: I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas Eve/Christmas depending on your part of the world.**

**The last chapter will be tomorrow. Hopefully. **

**Enjoy! (You hear me, Suebee? Enjoy everything today!)**

Chapter 15

He stood at the end of the aisle that was covered with a runner of white satin and petals of red roses strewn haphazardly over it. There were roses everywhere. They lined the aisles in tall glass vases. There were large bouquets next to Edward in porcelain pots. They were beautiful and evil blooms of allergy attacks.

I was sneezing down the aisle. My allergy to flowers was slight. No, I was downplaying it. My allergy to roses was intense. My nose was runny and my eyes were watery. I was a blotchy mess.

"This is fate, kid. Turn back and run away! I'll take you to the border in the squad car." My dad offered. I sneezed and, in my heels, wobbled so Dad had to help me stay upright.

"Shut it, old man," I hissed, but added so I didn't sound disrespectful, "I love you, Dad."

"I love you too, kid." Dad leaned over to kiss my head.

It warmed my heart, but the cold air still made my skin feel like an icicle. The heaters broke down in the winter wonderland that Esme created outside of their house which made it a freezing for everyone. The guests were huddled in their parka coats and woolen mittens. The musicians' fingers were so cold that they kept missing notes of the music. It was like the music that is played at a middle school orchestra concert where the majority of the children never practiced once.

Edward looked so handsome. He, of course, wore a red tie that was embroidered with holly. The shivering that shook his body just made me worried for him.

At least he wasn't wearing a strapless dress. I was practically a popsicle clad in Vera Wang. I guess. I have no idea who those designers are. She's the only one I heard of. The only thing I could be certain of was that this fabric could not retain heat at all. I might as well be naked.

Mom and Phil were almost naked for this event. They hallucinated in an alleyway that it would bring my marriage good luck. Luckily, Dad coaxed them into wearing some very elaborate kaftans to the wedding. God, those things were ugly.

We finally made it to Edward, shivering all the way. He took my hand. "I love you, Bella."

"It's fucking freezing," I blurted out. "I love you too."

He wrapped his arm around me, giving me a small amount of warmth. "I made sure that the ceremony is going to be quick."

"I seriously doubt that Reverend Cheney will be very quick," I whispered. "Esme says his sermons last for—"

The words froze upon my lips, but not from the icy temperatures. From out of nowhere I spied with my wandering eye, a man all clad in sparkling purple. His dark eyes sparkled and his shiny, black boots had high heels that made him tower. The microphone he held was covered in jewels.

Oh me, oh my, could it truly be him on this special Christmas Eve?

With a low pitched voice reminiscent of video days of MTV long passed by, he announced to the stunned crowd, "Let us party like it's 1999."

"Lionel Richie was busy and I couldn't get Billy Joel," Edward whispered. "Is this okay?"

"Have you spied what's in my iPod? This is way better than okay!" I was a rabid fan and watched _Purple Rain_ far too young. This was the best wedding ever.

Except for the fact that I couldn't feel my toes. My fingers might actually snap off. The snot that was dripping uncontrollably out of my nose was turning into snotsicles.

Other then those things, the wedding was perfect.

The words that came out of Prince's mouth that Christmas Eve were full of love and hope, I imagine. At a certain point, I was just concentrating on trying to visualize a roaring fire to pretend I wasn't freezing to death.

When he asked us to say our vows it was in shaky voices and chattering teeth.

"I love you," Edward's lips were blue.

At that point I could only nod, because my mouth was frozen shut.

The kiss was quick for fear our lips would be fused together by the cold.

Like I said, the wedding was perfect.

XXXXXX

We were cuddled in front of the fire covered in blankets. Edward sipped his hot chocolate and I gulped my scorching coffee. The guests wandered around us with their own hot drinks that were spiked. They were all very jovial with the wedding and holiday joy. Also stumbling into expensive vases that Esme and Carlisle were trying to save.

There was a crash.

They couldn't save that one. I hoped it wasn't from the Ming Dynasty.

Edward's parents sent a fruit basket instead of attending. I was completely okay with that. Edward was too. They would have just put a damper on the fun.

Emmett and Rosalie were arguing by the stairs. She was arguing. He was laughing at her and eating cake. They were going to last for a lifetime. A very volatile lifetime due to Rosalie's temper.

My big friend looked over at me and winked. He had it all under control.

Alice came over pulling Jasper behind here. "We need to get to Jasper's family dinner, but wanted to say good-bye."

"It was cold," Jasper mumbled. Alice elbowed him in the ribs.

"It _was_ cold," Edward agreed. "We should try this wedding thing again sometime."

"Next time there will probably be a hurricane," I pointed out. We weren't having the best luck with wedding ceremonies.

Jasper let out a chuckle at that and we bid them farewell.

Where was Prince? Like that jolly old elf, he disappeared into the night with his backup singers leading the way. They might be better than reindeer.

"You happy?" Edward asked. He was hugging me tight, not only for body heat.

"I'm happy." I put my hands on the front of his pants. "You definitely are, but you need to behave."

He laughed. "I don't want us to be banned from my aunt's house."

"My father will definitely arrest us," I added with a giggle.

Poor dad was glowering at my mom and Phil next to the buffet. I could imagine him trying to find ways to throw those damn hippies in jail.

"Are we going to head out soon?" Edward had booked the room that we first had drunken sex in. It was our special place. "I'm feeling amorous for my bride."

"Can you get your legs to move again? Mine haven't thawed out yet. It would be like having sex with a popsicle." I was finally getting feeling in my extremities again.

"Crap. I'm still frozen," he said with a frown. "Though popsicle lovemaking—"

I wiggled my eyebrows. "Is what it will feel like when you stick your cold dick in me?"

We started laughing again feeling the warmth of our love fill us.

This Christmas Eve was really the start of a magical time for us. A life of laughter, love, and a whole lot of adventure. Edward was the Christmas gift I always needed.

"You know what else you can do with a popsicle?" Edward said cheekily. He placed his finger in my mouth with a wink.

A life of laughter indeed.


	16. Chapter 16

**AN: Merry Christmas! This is the end of a little story for Suebee that a lot of you seemed to like. Thank you for reading and let's do this again sometime. **

**Enjoy!**

Chapter 16

_Several years into the Christmas future_

"Edward, you have to be qui—" I whispered. "That's perfect. Right there, honey."

My husband was grunting and mumbling obscenities as he pounded into me. It was Christmas morning and our anniversary last night was the usual Christmas Eve festivities. Family dinner at Esme and Carlisle's house followed by playing Santa. By the time everything was done, we were exhausted.

He started sucking on my neck instead of quieting down. Early morning sexual exploits were always a dangerous proposition in this house. Today would be even more precarious.

"I love that you're my wife, you sexy elf," he cooed. His fingers dug into my hips, as he moved faster. He said this every year. "I want to fuck you everyday."

This was wishful thinking on Edward's part. We snuck in the lovemaking whenever we got a chance.

Edward could still make my heart beat faster and my loins quiver. Our desire and love never diminished just grew bigger. A heart only grows bigger. It has the capacity to hold so much love that somedays I fear it might burst.

"I love that you're my husband, Santa baby," I told him, before gasping as he hit the right spot. That man had the amazing aim that only Robin Hood and his arrow hitting a target could match.

Edward was panting hard. "I'm gonna . . . I'm gonna . . . I'm gonna—"

He was about to explode into me, as Edward III and Clara burst into the room. That ended the lovemaking swiftly.

Third, as we called him, cried out, "Did Santa bring me coal!"

He was four and obsessed with being on the naughty list. Not enough to actually be good, but at least he tried really hard not to be a little devil.

Edward collapsed on me and made sure that the covers protected us from view.

"Mom? Daddy? What _are_ you doing?" Clara asked. We named our seven year-old after the little girl who starred in _The Nutcracker_. Our Clara hated ballet. As soon as her first recital occurred and she realized that ballerinas don't wear underwear under there tights, she was done with dancing in a tutu. When you added in the yucky lipstick they tried to force her to wear in the spring recital, it made Clara hate all ballet with a passion.

"Daddy's hugging Mommy," Edward explained. It wasn't technically a lie.

"Why is Mommy naked?" Claire asked. She was way too smart and noticed my bare shoulder wasn't covered with the blanket. Obviously, she took after me in the intelligence department.

"I was hot." Also, this was not a lie. Her daddy always made me hot.

Claire didn't look impressed by my answer. "It's time to see if I got my Lego Girls mansion."

"What if I got coal?" Third cried out. He was developing a coal phobia.

"Mommy and I are getting dressed, then we'll all go down. Wait in Claire's room for five minutes," Edward said.

"Coal!" Third was trembling.

"Baby, Santa isn't getting you coal," I told my hysterical son.

Third gave me an angry look. "I'm not a baby!"

"Go to Claire's room now," Edward directed.

The children scurried off in a huff as I started to laugh. "Serves us right."

Edward kissed my nose. "We should probably get dressed. The horde is getting deadly for gifts."

"You didn't get Third a boat, did you?" Edward was very generous with the children. I tried to curb it the best I could. We lived in an old farmhouse and not a mansion. I still worked and made Edward beg for me to quit during every tax season. It was fun to watch him beg, so I kept working. We made sure the children were learning how to save and budget. They were still young, so someday it might actually stick.

Edward smiled. "Just the model variety, but I did get Claire a car to chauffeur her brother around."

"She isn't old enough to drive yet, Edward," I admonished. "Getting a Ferrari to keep in a garage until she turns sixteen is ridiculous! Her first car is going to be a sensible Volvo!"

I wasn't being silly about this. Last year, he wanted to buy her a plane for when she was old enough to get a pilot license to fly. I vetoed his idea.

Edward watched me pull on my shirt. "I love your breasts."

"Don't try to change the subject." I gave him my Swan bitch face, but it ended up as a smile. I just couldn't stay mad at him.

"It's a girl sized Barbie car to ride around the front yard," Edward explained coming over.

"Jeep?"

"Escalade," he told me with a cheeky grin. "It has a working radio to make it even more awesome. They can cruise through the yard and jam."

"To Imagination Movers and The Wiggles?" The least jam children bands ever.

Edward laughed at me. "Claire likes Taylor Swift."

"She's growing up too fast," I stated sadly.

"Damn straight," Edward agreed. "Want another?"

"No way. I would like uninterrupted sex sometime this decade. Babies put a damper on that." Instead of sugar plums dancing in my head, I dreamt of sending the kids to college and getting alone time with Edward. It was a lovely dream.

Both Alice and Rosalie were breeders. They were popping out infants all the time it felt like. I think they were always tired, because both women were always changing dirty diapers or had an infant attached to their breast sucking the life out of them. I did that twice and I was done.

Edward pulled me into a hug. "I think we're the perfect kind of family."

"The imperfect kind that works great?"

"Yes." He kissed me The man still made me swoon. "Let's get the kids before they revolt and destroy us for gifts. When are all the family coming for the day?"

"Noon. My dad has already threatened to smack your dad if he gives the kids shares in stocks again." My father hated Edward's dad with a passion. I didn't blame Dad very much for not liking the old snob, but at least Ed Sr. was trying to be a better grandfather than a father. He still had a lot of work to do.

"Uncle Carlisle will probably beat him to it." Edward wrapped his arm around me. "Ready to do this?"

"Always."

Downstairs, snuggled close on the couch, we watched our children rip open gifts and squeal with delight at their gifts. It was something I never imagined I would enjoy, but that was before I found love upon a midnight clear.

Edward taught me not only love, but the true meaning of Christmas. We are now passing it onto Claire and Third.

Christmas is love. Christmas is family. Christmas is giving.

"Mom, I got a pink Escalade!" Claire screamed in delight.

Christmas is eardrums bursting due to children yelling. I wouldn't have it any other way.

The End.


End file.
